Take a look at our away kit:
http://goonertalk.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/new-away-kit.jpg
It reminds me of the 1988-89 season. That was a good time in my life.
That season started in late August 1988 with a 5-1 away win against Wimbledon at Plough Lane - an absolute shit-hole of a ground that was situated in Merton - a boring, conservative, nothing going on London borough, full of stale civil servants who encourage their children to be referees rather than footballers.
Merton is where the Wimbledon Tennis Championships are held.
It's Middle England on the edge of south-west London.
You don't go clubbing in Merton, instead you go to the garden center and buy plants for your overpriced flat.
Fuck off Merton.
Wimbledon Football Club and its old ground Plough Lane no longer exist. Plough Lane was sold in 1994, while Wimbledon FC died in 2004 when its owners changed the name of the club to MK Dons (after having relocated in 2003 to Milton Keynes).
The beginning of the end for Wimbledon was the Hillsborough disaster of April 1989. The subsequent Taylor Report that resulted from the disaster, stated that all top flight clubs in England and Scotland must play in all-seater stadiums. This law hit Wimbledon hard, because its Plough Lane ground consisted mainly of concrete terracing.
The ex-owners of Wimbledon FC claimed that building a new all seater-stadium was better economically than redeveloping Plough Lane. They promised their fans that they would try and stay in Merton but then claimed to have searched exhaustively with Merton council for a new stadium site in and around Merton - but alas to no avail. Instead, they moved to Selhurst Park in 1991 and ground shared with Crystal Palace for over 10 years. Selhurst Park is 6 and a half miles from Plough Lane.
Plough Lane is now a block of private apartments having been sold to Safeways supermarket (who in turn sold the ground to a private property developer) by former owner Sam Hamman.
Hamman was the first owner to try and relocate the club away from London to a more profitable location. But the FA refused to give him permission to move to Cardiff, Belfast or Dublin - his profitable cities of choice. Hamman seemed to not care that a football club in Britain is seen as an important part of the community that it's based in. He viewed Wimbledon FC as a sports franchise, which has been prevalent in American sports over the decades. Look at the list of American baseball and basketball teams that have moved from one city to the next, changing their name in the process:
The Brooklyn Dodgers moved to Los Angeles in 1958 and became the LA Dodgers.
The Atlanta Braves were originally the Boston Braves then moved in 1953 to Milwaukee and became the Milwaukee Braves. In 1966, the team moved to Atlanta and became the Atlanta Braves.
The New York Giants baseball team moved to San Fransisco in 1958 and became the San Francisco Giants.
The LA Lakers started life in Detroit before moving to Minneapolis where it got its nickname -The Lakers- after the 10,000 lakes slogan of the Minneapolis area.
Can you imagine Arsenal moving from London to La Coruna, Spain, which is the same distance as Detroit to Minneapolis (682 miles) ? Or Arsenal moving to El Aaiun, Western Sahara, which is the same distance as Minneapolis to Los Angeles (1900 miles) ?
Yes, Arsenal did move from Woolwich, south east London to Highbury back in 1913. The distance was just over 12 miles. The move to The Emirates or Ashburton Grove from Highbury is a mile at most. Wimbledon FC's move to Milton Keynes is roughly 60 miles.
Merton council and Wimbledon F.C. fans wanted the club to move back to a redeveloped Plough Lane during the time the club was ground sharing at Selhurst Park. However, Sam Hamman thought that selling Plough Lane for his own profit was a better idea. He wasn't interested in the future of the club, which is why he never seriously looked for another ground, despite Merton council giving permission for a new 20,000 all-seater ground to be built in their borough. In 1994, Hamman sold Plough Lane for 5 or 8 million pounds (depending on what source you read). None of the money was reinvested back in the club.
In 1997, Hamman sold Wimbledon F.C. to two Norwegian businessmen (Bjorn Rune Gjelsten and Kjell-Inge Rokke) for 22 million pounds. Hamman blamed Merton council for not helping find a new ground, but evidence suggests that he used them as a scapegoat. Hamman had no intention of helping Wimbledon F.C. He would argue that during his time as owner of Wimbledon F.C. that the club new owner Charles Koppel said it would be too expensive for him to buy back the land sold by previous owner Sam Hamman. But then buying the land for a new stadium in Milton Keynes would cost the same amount of money.
Wimbledon's Norwegian owners saw a money making opportunity in having a professional football club in Milton Keynes. Until they moved there, none existed. The encatchement area. The owners of Wimbledon don't care about the fans. They need the fans but they don't care where the fans reside or where they come from. All they care about is having fans that will spend money on their club.
Sam Hamman unfortunately sold the club to the wrong type of businessmen. From the moment the Norwegian businessmen joined the Wimbledon board star players started being sold. Koppel looked at other avenues to make the club profitable including holding talks with Queens Park Rangers FC about a possible merger. Pete Winkelman Inter MK consortium.
The FA have a lot to answer in this embarrassing episode (1) for in allowing Wimbledon to recollect 62 miles north to Milton Keynes; and (2) to rename themselves MK Dons.
Was I at the game that day? No, I was in Glasgow watching Rangers thrash Celtic 5-1 with my dad. It was and still is my only Old Firm match. It was a great day out.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Turkey are good to watch
Only three teams can win Euro 2008:
Holland
Portugal
Spain
OUTSIDERS:
Germany
Italy/France
DARK HORSES:
Croatia
Turkey
Holland
Portugal
Spain
OUTSIDERS:
Germany
Italy/France
DARK HORSES:
Croatia
Turkey
Friday, June 13, 2008
Merde Domenech
Govou - not good enough
Coupet - past it
Thuram - way past it
Toulalan - not better than Diarra or Nasri
He had better not pick them for the crucial Italy match.
What a fucking jackass!
This cunt has made a mess of an otherwise very capable group of players.
My lineup vs Italy:
Frey
Sagnol
Gallas
Squillaci
Evra
Diarra
Makelele
Ribery
Nasri
Henry
Anelka
Coupet - past it
Thuram - way past it
Toulalan - not better than Diarra or Nasri
He had better not pick them for the crucial Italy match.
What a fucking jackass!
This cunt has made a mess of an otherwise very capable group of players.
My lineup vs Italy:
Frey
Sagnol
Gallas
Squillaci
Evra
Diarra
Makelele
Ribery
Nasri
Henry
Anelka
Monday, June 9, 2008
The South
"Nothing good has ever come out of the South." Anonymous
I dislike the South but I don't hate it. If I lived in prison I would use the word hate. The South is better than prison, but then so is Tottenham.
There are too many things that I don't like about the South. I'm not going to list them all in one posting. But what happened to me the other day is another reason why I need to get the fuck out of South Carolina.
It's Friday afternoon. I have a few hours to run some errands before I start work as a bartender - working with thick retards and serving red-necks who think they are cultured.
I hate my job.
I hate the fact that I can't do anything - for now - about changing my job. So I bite the bullet and get on with it.
It's 3 pm. I cycle to the bank and cash a check from work. It's also 100 degrees and the humidity levels are at 90% - a fucking record. The bank gives me $150 cash which I earned from my Chinese boss who has bad breath, wears the same clothes everyday and only cares about money. The man has the personality of a snake.
My bike is worth $650. It's a good bike. It saves me a lot of money. It's fast and has a great suspension.
I feel pleased with myself after collecting the cash. Next stop Groucho's Deli, which is a mile away on King Street. I buy two subs for takeaway and cycle to collect my trousers which have been altered at the tailors.
The weather is fucking hot and humid. Another reason why I hate the South. The summers here are shit because they're too fucking hot. However, cycling in this heat is better than walking as you can at least catch a breeze.
I pick up my trousers and head off home. I cycle past King Street and on to St. Phillips Street aiming for the crosstown. I'm content right now. My tasks are complete. All I have to do is get home, eat my subs, shower and cycle to work.
But then I got hit. I remember a truck speeding past me and someone shouting something at me in a shrieking male voice. At the same time a brick hit me on my back and unbalanced me causing me to fall off my bike and on to the road.
When I got up off the floor, both my hands were bleeding, so was my back, legs and elbow. My bike was damaged to the extent that I couldn't ride it. My trousers were torn and my food was sprawled across the road. In the distance, I witnessed a red pick up truck speed away with two cunts probably pleased with their days work.
They were rednecks.
I hate rednecks with a passion.
America has a lot of rednecks and not just in the South.
My hands were so fucked that I could barely open a wine bottle at work. Work that night was fucking painful. I thought that my wrists were broken. Luckily one of the Mexican boys in the kitchen is a boxer and told me how to treat my hands and wrists. He's my doctor in the "no medical insurance world."
"Nothing ever good comes out of the South." Anonymous
I dislike the South but I don't hate it. If I lived in prison I would use the word hate. The South is better than prison, but then so is Tottenham.
There are too many things that I don't like about the South. I'm not going to list them all in one posting. But what happened to me the other day is another reason why I need to get the fuck out of South Carolina.
It's Friday afternoon. I have a few hours to run some errands before I start work as a bartender - working with thick retards and serving red-necks who think they are cultured.
I hate my job.
I hate the fact that I can't do anything - for now - about changing my job. So I bite the bullet and get on with it.
It's 3 pm. I cycle to the bank and cash a check from work. It's also 100 degrees and the humidity levels are at 90% - a fucking record. The bank gives me $150 cash which I earned from my Chinese boss who has bad breath, wears the same clothes everyday and only cares about money. The man has the personality of a snake.
My bike is worth $650. It's a good bike. It saves me a lot of money. It's fast and has a great suspension.
I feel pleased with myself after collecting the cash. Next stop Groucho's Deli, which is a mile away on King Street. I buy two subs for takeaway and cycle to collect my trousers which have been altered at the tailors.
The weather is fucking hot and humid. Another reason why I hate the South. The summers here are shit because they're too fucking hot. However, cycling in this heat is better than walking as you can at least catch a breeze.
I pick up my trousers and head off home. I cycle past King Street and on to St. Phillips Street aiming for the crosstown. I'm content right now. My tasks are complete. All I have to do is get home, eat my subs, shower and cycle to work.
But then I got hit. I remember a truck speeding past me and someone shouting something at me in a shrieking male voice. At the same time a brick hit me on my back and unbalanced me causing me to fall off my bike and on to the road.
When I got up off the floor, both my hands were bleeding, so was my back, legs and elbow. My bike was damaged to the extent that I couldn't ride it. My trousers were torn and my food was sprawled across the road. In the distance, I witnessed a red pick up truck speed away with two cunts probably pleased with their days work.
They were rednecks.
I hate rednecks with a passion.
America has a lot of rednecks and not just in the South.
My hands were so fucked that I could barely open a wine bottle at work. Work that night was fucking painful. I thought that my wrists were broken. Luckily one of the Mexican boys in the kitchen is a boxer and told me how to treat my hands and wrists. He's my doctor in the "no medical insurance world."
"Nothing ever good comes out of the South." Anonymous
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Cont of the Week
I hate people.
You may find this statement strange but I don't care.
I don't have psychological problems. I see myself as normal. It's other people that are my problem.
In the world I live in, I'm surrounded by inauthentic, characterless, sycophants, who lack opinion. The rest are thick, ignorant and misguided.
They fear people like us because we are different. We make them feel threatened. They see us as rebels even though we are well beyond our teenage years.
They're jealous and envious.
They envy us because we take risks and are willing to take the consequences on the chin. Our lives are more colorful.
They can't control us.
The Celine Dion's and Steve McClaren's of this world have had their day.
They will pay.
You may find this statement strange but I don't care.
I don't have psychological problems. I see myself as normal. It's other people that are my problem.
In the world I live in, I'm surrounded by inauthentic, characterless, sycophants, who lack opinion. The rest are thick, ignorant and misguided.
They fear people like us because we are different. We make them feel threatened. They see us as rebels even though we are well beyond our teenage years.
They're jealous and envious.
They envy us because we take risks and are willing to take the consequences on the chin. Our lives are more colorful.
They can't control us.
The Celine Dion's and Steve McClaren's of this world have had their day.
They will pay.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I Saw Stig Tofting Today
He was very angry.
Someone asked the the compact Dane why he was so mad. He said because a bouncer made him feel like a little shit.
Apparently the ex-Denmark hard man was behind a barricade stationed in front of a nightclub.
He asked the bouncer why he has ignored him for 20 minutes.
The bouncer said, "I didn't see you."
Tofting loosened one of the doorman's teeth.
Someone asked the the compact Dane why he was so mad. He said because a bouncer made him feel like a little shit.
Apparently the ex-Denmark hard man was behind a barricade stationed in front of a nightclub.
He asked the bouncer why he has ignored him for 20 minutes.
The bouncer said, "I didn't see you."
Tofting loosened one of the doorman's teeth.
This Is What I Live For
During the course of a league campaign, those who do not appreciate the excitement of nation vs. nation competition lament the constant interruptions in the club calendar. They say things like, “International football is a waste of time.” Or, “Why should we care about Andorra? My local pub team are better.” Greed has added fixtures not just to club football but also to the international calendar. I don’t give a fuck what Sepp Blatter or anyone else say, they play more football because there’s more money to be made.
From the standpoint of the fan who can’t be arsed, I understand the apathy for the international game. Many of the matches are boring and only increase the chances of porcelain doll sicknote type players to injure themselves in “meaningless friendlies”. But there are also football junkies who love to watch the game played by a collection of the world’s best players, especially if there’s a pot to raise at the end.
A gathering of the world’s best players is more than just a way to spend four weeks in the summer. It is a chance to see the stars of the football world make history. It’s a time for heroes and it can also be a time for villains. It’s a time for Pele and Gerd Müller. It’s a time for Gentile and Materazzi. It’s a time for Gordon Banks and Rene Higuita. It's a time for Roger Milla. It’s a time for Zidane and Maradona. It’s a time for Jairzinho, Cannighia, and Gazza. It’s a time for Serginho, and Baggio, and Waddle, and Southgate.
I understand the blind allegiance to your club. You’re gutted when they lose and ecstatic when they win. You plan your weekends - your life - around your club’s fixture list. You travel the length and width of the country to support your boys. And if you’re lucky enough to support a really good side, you travel the continent to sing in unison with 100’s or 1000’s of fellow supporters. You march behind the club you’ve supported since you can remember. You travel with pride. You travel with trepidation. You travel with joy. You travel for football.
I live to watch the very best against the very best as millions of their fellow countrymen watch with me. Some watch in pubs, some at the stadia, some at home, some watch wherever they can - on the streets, through shop windows, anywhere. We all watch for that one moment (several if we’re lucky) of brilliance, that moment that you envisioned as a boy and still do as a grown man, that overhead volley, that goal line clearance, that full pitch run to round the keeper, that great football moment.
I cringe when people speak of the abolishment of the international game. We should preserve the spectacle that is international football. As much as I hate that cont Cristiano Ronaldo, I can hardly wait to see him and his Portugal side take on Turkey. I can hardly wait to see the Swiss defence get cunted by old man Koller. I can hardly wait to see if Spain finally deliver. I can hardly wait to see if France can win in spite of Four Eyes. And what will the Germans bring to the party? Will Italy, Holland, Switzerland, or Austria make headlines? Can Greece repeat? Which players will raise their valuation this month? Will Filipao win both the World Cup and the European Cup? These are questions that interest me. The EPL, La Liga, Ligue 1, Serie A, etc can wait a while. I want to see history made.
From the standpoint of the fan who can’t be arsed, I understand the apathy for the international game. Many of the matches are boring and only increase the chances of porcelain doll sicknote type players to injure themselves in “meaningless friendlies”. But there are also football junkies who love to watch the game played by a collection of the world’s best players, especially if there’s a pot to raise at the end.
A gathering of the world’s best players is more than just a way to spend four weeks in the summer. It is a chance to see the stars of the football world make history. It’s a time for heroes and it can also be a time for villains. It’s a time for Pele and Gerd Müller. It’s a time for Gentile and Materazzi. It’s a time for Gordon Banks and Rene Higuita. It's a time for Roger Milla. It’s a time for Zidane and Maradona. It’s a time for Jairzinho, Cannighia, and Gazza. It’s a time for Serginho, and Baggio, and Waddle, and Southgate.
I understand the blind allegiance to your club. You’re gutted when they lose and ecstatic when they win. You plan your weekends - your life - around your club’s fixture list. You travel the length and width of the country to support your boys. And if you’re lucky enough to support a really good side, you travel the continent to sing in unison with 100’s or 1000’s of fellow supporters. You march behind the club you’ve supported since you can remember. You travel with pride. You travel with trepidation. You travel with joy. You travel for football.
I live to watch the very best against the very best as millions of their fellow countrymen watch with me. Some watch in pubs, some at the stadia, some at home, some watch wherever they can - on the streets, through shop windows, anywhere. We all watch for that one moment (several if we’re lucky) of brilliance, that moment that you envisioned as a boy and still do as a grown man, that overhead volley, that goal line clearance, that full pitch run to round the keeper, that great football moment.
I cringe when people speak of the abolishment of the international game. We should preserve the spectacle that is international football. As much as I hate that cont Cristiano Ronaldo, I can hardly wait to see him and his Portugal side take on Turkey. I can hardly wait to see the Swiss defence get cunted by old man Koller. I can hardly wait to see if Spain finally deliver. I can hardly wait to see if France can win in spite of Four Eyes. And what will the Germans bring to the party? Will Italy, Holland, Switzerland, or Austria make headlines? Can Greece repeat? Which players will raise their valuation this month? Will Filipao win both the World Cup and the European Cup? These are questions that interest me. The EPL, La Liga, Ligue 1, Serie A, etc can wait a while. I want to see history made.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Manuel Almunia
It looks as though as Arsenal are about to sign a trio of midfield players. Nothing has been confirmed so I won't go into detail or make any comment. I understand that we need to replace Flamini after he departed to AC Milan. But why do we have to sign more midfielders? If Helb and Gilberto leave then the situation changes.
But what about other positions such as center-back or more importantly goalkeeper? Positions that I think we need strengthening.
Many Gooners feel that Manuel Almunia is not good enough to be the Arsenal 1st choice keeper. With Jens Lehmann now gone - his age catching up with him - is it time that Arsenal invest heavily in a top quality world class keeper?
Almunia has done little wrong, he therefore has done enough to stay in the side - for now. There are very few top class keepers around and until one comes on the market, we Gooners should get behind our new number one.
But what about other positions such as center-back or more importantly goalkeeper? Positions that I think we need strengthening.
Many Gooners feel that Manuel Almunia is not good enough to be the Arsenal 1st choice keeper. With Jens Lehmann now gone - his age catching up with him - is it time that Arsenal invest heavily in a top quality world class keeper?
Almunia has done little wrong, he therefore has done enough to stay in the side - for now. There are very few top class keepers around and until one comes on the market, we Gooners should get behind our new number one.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Cont of the Week
Not for the first time, Raymond Domenech has left Robert Pires and David Trezeguet out of the France squad. He has stated that the reasons have been tactical. Pires publically spoke out in opposition of Domenech in 2004 for the manner in which four eyes ran the team. I believe his exclusion was due to more than just “organizational choices”.
During Domenech’s time as top man, Trezeguet has had a horrible run of bad form with Les Bleus or has been left out of the squad altogether. One can understand the exclusion of Pires for one of the younger, up and coming stars from the ever full Clairefontaine cupboard. Trezeguet on the other hand is continually cast aside if not brought in with reluctance when he has been included, even if he remains a deadly marksman at club level.
Here is a man who has excelled in Serie A, the most defensive league in football. He’s scored goals for fun at times. He's won the European Championship with a dramatic extra time goal. A goal that was set up by Pires! I admit neither have been as prolific for France – not nearly so. But to treat such important players the way Domenech has done is just wrong.
Robert Pires has been one of the most creative and productive players around.
In essence, Domenech has deprived me of seeing two of my favorite players perform on football’s biggest stages. Fuck him.
I’d like someone to show me proof that it wasn’t Zidane who actually ran the show in 2006. I can just see Domenech trying to explain himself while the players waited until he finished and then availed themselves of the wisdom of the great one.
Fuck Domenech! I don’t care if he has had a decent run with the national team. He’s a cont for shunting players who deserve far more respect than that bellend has given. Who the fuck does that cont think he is!?!?
Like Average Grant, your team’s success has little to do with your “leadership” Monsieur Domenech you fucking muppet.
Fuck off you bastard
During Domenech’s time as top man, Trezeguet has had a horrible run of bad form with Les Bleus or has been left out of the squad altogether. One can understand the exclusion of Pires for one of the younger, up and coming stars from the ever full Clairefontaine cupboard. Trezeguet on the other hand is continually cast aside if not brought in with reluctance when he has been included, even if he remains a deadly marksman at club level.
Here is a man who has excelled in Serie A, the most defensive league in football. He’s scored goals for fun at times. He's won the European Championship with a dramatic extra time goal. A goal that was set up by Pires! I admit neither have been as prolific for France – not nearly so. But to treat such important players the way Domenech has done is just wrong.
Robert Pires has been one of the most creative and productive players around.
In essence, Domenech has deprived me of seeing two of my favorite players perform on football’s biggest stages. Fuck him.
I’d like someone to show me proof that it wasn’t Zidane who actually ran the show in 2006. I can just see Domenech trying to explain himself while the players waited until he finished and then availed themselves of the wisdom of the great one.
Fuck Domenech! I don’t care if he has had a decent run with the national team. He’s a cont for shunting players who deserve far more respect than that bellend has given. Who the fuck does that cont think he is!?!?
Like Average Grant, your team’s success has little to do with your “leadership” Monsieur Domenech you fucking muppet.
Fuck off you bastard
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Cont Final
Tomorrow is the final of the Champions League. It's a final that I believe Arsenal should be in. Two inept refs and a cheating born again Dutch Christian cost us a place in the semis against Chelsea. If you ever want to see the hypocrisy of religion, then look no further than Ryan Babel's dive against Arsenal in the quarter-final second leg. The cheating cont needs to read The Ten Commandments before blabbing on about how Christianity has changed him. Yeah, it's made the goofy fucker dishonest. Some change.
You will get yours Babel.
CHELSEA WILL WIN TOMORROW
Why? Because they have had luck and an easy ride to the final.
The hardest team they faced was Luckypool, which they won due to a lucky last minute own goal by John "Long Ball" Risse in the first leg. The fat fuck Rafa also helped Chelsea by going on about having a DVD of Drogba's diving. Factor in the Luckypool center-back Skrtel going off injured after 22 minutes of the 2nd leg and Hypia not being given a penalty and you see Chelsea have had luck.
Look at the other teams Chelsea have played:
One of the worst Valencia teams for years. So poor that they nearly got relegated.
Rosenborg - they currently lie 10th out of 14 teams in the Norway First Division
Schalke 04 - they struggled to qualify for the knock-out stages and only managed to get into the quarter-finals by beating Porto on penalties.
Olympiakos - they conceded 7 goals in the group stages, and had a 40 year old keeper who looked as though he starred in the silent film era.
Fernabache - the weakest team of the quarter-finalists.
But this seasons Champions League final will be decided by one of two things: a single goal or penalties;
And it will be motivated by one factor: Death
Yes, the death of Pat Lampard, Frank Lampard's mum will be used to motivate Chelsea and the anniversary of the 1958 Munich air disaster will be used to motivate thickos like Rio Ferdinand.
Frank was labeled by the English press as being brave and heroic for stepping up to take the penalty that would give Chelsea a 2-1 advantage over Luckypool in the 2nd leg semi-final.
Let's get things straight here. Frank's job is to take penalties. He is the designated penalty taker of Chelsea. It's a fucking penalty he's taking. He's not dismantling a bomb that is about to explode and blow up half of London. Sure there is pressure, but all penalties in a crucial game carry that burden.
Calling Frank "heroic and brave" for scoring a penalty is cock sucking journalism at it's best. Nevertheless, divs like Ashley Cole fall for it. When Frank scored and went down on his knees in tribute to his dead mum, Ashley jumped on his back and hugged him in a way that was very homosexual. But Ashley was playing to the crowd. He couldn't give a fuck about Pat Lampard. By hugging Frank in such a caring way, Ashley tried to show the Chelsea fans that he cared. He tried to show the outside world the great team spirit at Chelsea. The respect the players have for Frank in such hard times.
Fuck-off Ashley you fucking fraud!
Manipulating the minds of thick people like Ashley Cole is so fucking easy. And conts like Alex Ferguson know that.
Take Rio Ferdinand - a man with the same room temperature IQ as Ashley. He said he wants to win the final for those that died in Munich 50 years ago. Why?
Did he know any of the victims? Did he lose any relatives in that crash?
Did he fuck?
But apparently Rio was moved by a speech made by Sir Bobby Charlton who told the Moan U squad about how important the anniversary of Munich is to everyone connected at the cont club. Why not just bring out the black armbands and start playing the "Death March" then?
I'm sick of the Munich anniversary. It's dragged on for long enough.
I think the final will be a letdown and I think that after Chelsea have lifted the Champions League trophy, the season of the anniversary of Munich will end in a huge anti-climax.
Winning Europe's most coveted trophy in Moscow seems like the most unappealing city to win it in. The city carries none of the romance or charm of Paris or grandeur of Rome. It just seems to be a cold and grey place illuminated by Red Square, occasional sunshine and Russia's nouveau-riche showing off their new found wealth.
It's only fitting then that a grey, autocratic club, full of rich individuals like Chelsea would seem like the ideal team to lift such a great trophy in the capital of a semi-totalitarian country that pretends to have democratic institutions but one that is run on a fascist-capitalist economy.
Chelsea after all are the nouveau-riche of football. They used to strive to be the Moan U of the south. But now roles have reversed. The Glazers want Moan U to be the Chelsea of the north - debt free and owned by one man who answers to no-one. A pure money making machine where football is the product and fans are the consumers.
Welcome to the new Champions of Europe.
You will get yours Babel.
CHELSEA WILL WIN TOMORROW
Why? Because they have had luck and an easy ride to the final.
The hardest team they faced was Luckypool, which they won due to a lucky last minute own goal by John "Long Ball" Risse in the first leg. The fat fuck Rafa also helped Chelsea by going on about having a DVD of Drogba's diving. Factor in the Luckypool center-back Skrtel going off injured after 22 minutes of the 2nd leg and Hypia not being given a penalty and you see Chelsea have had luck.
Look at the other teams Chelsea have played:
One of the worst Valencia teams for years. So poor that they nearly got relegated.
Rosenborg - they currently lie 10th out of 14 teams in the Norway First Division
Schalke 04 - they struggled to qualify for the knock-out stages and only managed to get into the quarter-finals by beating Porto on penalties.
Olympiakos - they conceded 7 goals in the group stages, and had a 40 year old keeper who looked as though he starred in the silent film era.
Fernabache - the weakest team of the quarter-finalists.
But this seasons Champions League final will be decided by one of two things: a single goal or penalties;
And it will be motivated by one factor: Death
Yes, the death of Pat Lampard, Frank Lampard's mum will be used to motivate Chelsea and the anniversary of the 1958 Munich air disaster will be used to motivate thickos like Rio Ferdinand.
Frank was labeled by the English press as being brave and heroic for stepping up to take the penalty that would give Chelsea a 2-1 advantage over Luckypool in the 2nd leg semi-final.
Let's get things straight here. Frank's job is to take penalties. He is the designated penalty taker of Chelsea. It's a fucking penalty he's taking. He's not dismantling a bomb that is about to explode and blow up half of London. Sure there is pressure, but all penalties in a crucial game carry that burden.
Calling Frank "heroic and brave" for scoring a penalty is cock sucking journalism at it's best. Nevertheless, divs like Ashley Cole fall for it. When Frank scored and went down on his knees in tribute to his dead mum, Ashley jumped on his back and hugged him in a way that was very homosexual. But Ashley was playing to the crowd. He couldn't give a fuck about Pat Lampard. By hugging Frank in such a caring way, Ashley tried to show the Chelsea fans that he cared. He tried to show the outside world the great team spirit at Chelsea. The respect the players have for Frank in such hard times.
Fuck-off Ashley you fucking fraud!
Manipulating the minds of thick people like Ashley Cole is so fucking easy. And conts like Alex Ferguson know that.
Take Rio Ferdinand - a man with the same room temperature IQ as Ashley. He said he wants to win the final for those that died in Munich 50 years ago. Why?
Did he know any of the victims? Did he lose any relatives in that crash?
Did he fuck?
But apparently Rio was moved by a speech made by Sir Bobby Charlton who told the Moan U squad about how important the anniversary of Munich is to everyone connected at the cont club. Why not just bring out the black armbands and start playing the "Death March" then?
I'm sick of the Munich anniversary. It's dragged on for long enough.
I think the final will be a letdown and I think that after Chelsea have lifted the Champions League trophy, the season of the anniversary of Munich will end in a huge anti-climax.
Winning Europe's most coveted trophy in Moscow seems like the most unappealing city to win it in. The city carries none of the romance or charm of Paris or grandeur of Rome. It just seems to be a cold and grey place illuminated by Red Square, occasional sunshine and Russia's nouveau-riche showing off their new found wealth.
It's only fitting then that a grey, autocratic club, full of rich individuals like Chelsea would seem like the ideal team to lift such a great trophy in the capital of a semi-totalitarian country that pretends to have democratic institutions but one that is run on a fascist-capitalist economy.
Chelsea after all are the nouveau-riche of football. They used to strive to be the Moan U of the south. But now roles have reversed. The Glazers want Moan U to be the Chelsea of the north - debt free and owned by one man who answers to no-one. A pure money making machine where football is the product and fans are the consumers.
Welcome to the new Champions of Europe.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Lee Carsley today signed for relegated Birmingham City. He left Everton after 6 and a half seasons at the long ball club.
He won zero.
Carsley is a journeyman midfield enforcer who represents the ugly side to the English Premiership. His job at Everton was essentially to stop creative players like Cesc Fabregas from playing.
In a 16 year professional career, where Carsley made 398 appearances for average clubs like Derby Cunty, Cuntburn Rovers and Everton, the anti-creative Irishman scored only 31 goals. That equals less than 2 goals a season.
Defenders of the clogger Carsley will state that he actually scored a goal every 13 games but I don't look at it like that.
Carsley played in central midfield. A position that demands more than 31 goals in 16 seasons.
If you pay a central midfielder thousands of pounds, week after week, month after month, you expect a bigger return than 31 goals.
But the bald headed, thug looking Carsley was bought to stop the opposition. Not to score goals. He's the antithesis of flair.
On his debut for Everton, Carsley quickly warmed himself to the Everton fans by breaking the Arsenal defender Matthew Upson's leg after half an hour. Not to worry, justice was done as Arsenal won the match 1-0 through a fortunate Sylvain Wiltord goal.
Just like Everton's style of play, the match itself was horrible. Played in terrible weather conditions of rain and a blustery wind that helped cut up the pitch and destroy Arsenal's passing game.
These was conditions that were designed to favor industrious players like Carsley. It's strange to think now that Everton finished the game with flair players like Paul Gascoigne and David Ginola, while Arsenal had donkey's such as Igor Stepanovs, Oleg Luzhny and Giovanni van Wankhorst.
Carsley is not an Irishman. He was born in England but due to the realization that he was too crap to play for the country where he was born and raised, he opted to play for Ireland's "hit it long" team, using his Irish grandmother's nationality as a way of claiming that he was Irish. He earned 38 caps during the period 1997-2006 where Ireland only qualified for one major tournament.
It's hard to see a player like Carsley getting even one cap for a country like Spain or France.
I am glad to see the back of Lee Carsley. He is an example of why the Premiership is not the best league in the world. For the past few seasons, the central midfield of Everton has been controlled by Carsley and Phillip Neville (a left-back cum midfielder). Both have turned Everton into the Abu Ghraib of football. Watching them has been torture.
I'm sick of the Lee Carsley's and Phillip Neville's of this world. Until the Premier League gets rid of them it can never say that it is the best league in the world.
Until Everton start to become more creative, they will continue to win nothing and continue to fail in Europe.
But Everton and Carsley belong together - in the Championship that is because I'm sick of teams and players like them that make watching football an ordeal rather than a pleasure.
Fuck them. Conts.
El Cunto
He won zero.
Carsley is a journeyman midfield enforcer who represents the ugly side to the English Premiership. His job at Everton was essentially to stop creative players like Cesc Fabregas from playing.
In a 16 year professional career, where Carsley made 398 appearances for average clubs like Derby Cunty, Cuntburn Rovers and Everton, the anti-creative Irishman scored only 31 goals. That equals less than 2 goals a season.
Defenders of the clogger Carsley will state that he actually scored a goal every 13 games but I don't look at it like that.
Carsley played in central midfield. A position that demands more than 31 goals in 16 seasons.
If you pay a central midfielder thousands of pounds, week after week, month after month, you expect a bigger return than 31 goals.
But the bald headed, thug looking Carsley was bought to stop the opposition. Not to score goals. He's the antithesis of flair.
On his debut for Everton, Carsley quickly warmed himself to the Everton fans by breaking the Arsenal defender Matthew Upson's leg after half an hour. Not to worry, justice was done as Arsenal won the match 1-0 through a fortunate Sylvain Wiltord goal.
Just like Everton's style of play, the match itself was horrible. Played in terrible weather conditions of rain and a blustery wind that helped cut up the pitch and destroy Arsenal's passing game.
These was conditions that were designed to favor industrious players like Carsley. It's strange to think now that Everton finished the game with flair players like Paul Gascoigne and David Ginola, while Arsenal had donkey's such as Igor Stepanovs, Oleg Luzhny and Giovanni van Wankhorst.
Carsley is not an Irishman. He was born in England but due to the realization that he was too crap to play for the country where he was born and raised, he opted to play for Ireland's "hit it long" team, using his Irish grandmother's nationality as a way of claiming that he was Irish. He earned 38 caps during the period 1997-2006 where Ireland only qualified for one major tournament.
It's hard to see a player like Carsley getting even one cap for a country like Spain or France.
I am glad to see the back of Lee Carsley. He is an example of why the Premiership is not the best league in the world. For the past few seasons, the central midfield of Everton has been controlled by Carsley and Phillip Neville (a left-back cum midfielder). Both have turned Everton into the Abu Ghraib of football. Watching them has been torture.
I'm sick of the Lee Carsley's and Phillip Neville's of this world. Until the Premier League gets rid of them it can never say that it is the best league in the world.
Until Everton start to become more creative, they will continue to win nothing and continue to fail in Europe.
But Everton and Carsley belong together - in the Championship that is because I'm sick of teams and players like them that make watching football an ordeal rather than a pleasure.
Fuck them. Conts.
El Cunto
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Arsenal don't have a game until July 18, 2008. It's a friendly match against League Two Barnet. Some people may say it's nothing to get excited about.
With the Champions League final and EURO 2008 upon us there is room for agreement.
But the Barnet fixture is important. It's a chance for Gooners to have a first hand look at new signings, trialists and up and coming youngsters.
In July, 2000, Arsenal beat Barnet 1-0 thanks to a goal by the then much hyped teenage sensation Jermaine Pennant, in a game where Lauren made his Arsenal debut.
In July 2003, when Barnet were a Conference side, Arsenal fielded two trialists: Ya Ya Toure (brother of Kolo) and Gael Clichy. In the second half of that match, Ya Ya played as a striker and missed Arsenal's best chance, heading wide when the goal was as his mercy. Ya Ya wasn't offered a contract and instead signed for the Ukrainian team Metalurh Donetesk, while Clichy was asked to join the Arsenal squad at their pre-season training camp in Austria. The game finished 0-0.
In July 2005, Arsenal gave a trial to ex-Barcelona, Monaco and Marseille center-back Philippe Christanval. Things didn't work out and Christanval eventually signed for Fulham. Arsenal won the match 4-1 with new signing Alexander Helb scoring the opening goal.
In July 2006, Arsenal again drew 0-0 with Barnet. Jeremie Aliadiere missed Arsenal's best chance after being played in by Alex Song. Aliadiere would have one more season at Arsenal before being sold to Middlesboro, while Song looks as though he will be challenging Kolo for the center-back position.
This year the Barnet fixture looks to be interesting, with youngsters like Vela, Gibbs, Lansbury, Merida, Wiltshire set to feature. There will also be the new signings. Below is a list of those that have been linked with Arsenal so far:
Ben Arfa (Lyon)
Roque Santa Cruz (Cuntburn Rovers)
Samir Nasri (Marseille)
Mahamadou Dabo (St Etienne)
Jean Makoun (Lille)
Lilian Thuram (Barcelona)
Raul Albiol (Valencia)
Alberto Aquilani (Roma)
Mario Gomez (Stuttgart)
Blaise Matuidi (St Etienne)
It's a shame that none of these players will wear an Arsenal shirt.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2009
Shame that AC Milan and Ajax never made it to next seasons Champions League qualifiers. We now have FC Twente and Fiorentina taking their place.
Flamini will be playing UEFA Cup football next season. He said he joined AC Milan for footballing reasons. Enjoy playing against your fellow Frenchman Diarra of Portsmouth.
Conts
With the Champions League final and EURO 2008 upon us there is room for agreement.
But the Barnet fixture is important. It's a chance for Gooners to have a first hand look at new signings, trialists and up and coming youngsters.
In July, 2000, Arsenal beat Barnet 1-0 thanks to a goal by the then much hyped teenage sensation Jermaine Pennant, in a game where Lauren made his Arsenal debut.
In July 2003, when Barnet were a Conference side, Arsenal fielded two trialists: Ya Ya Toure (brother of Kolo) and Gael Clichy. In the second half of that match, Ya Ya played as a striker and missed Arsenal's best chance, heading wide when the goal was as his mercy. Ya Ya wasn't offered a contract and instead signed for the Ukrainian team Metalurh Donetesk, while Clichy was asked to join the Arsenal squad at their pre-season training camp in Austria. The game finished 0-0.
In July 2005, Arsenal gave a trial to ex-Barcelona, Monaco and Marseille center-back Philippe Christanval. Things didn't work out and Christanval eventually signed for Fulham. Arsenal won the match 4-1 with new signing Alexander Helb scoring the opening goal.
In July 2006, Arsenal again drew 0-0 with Barnet. Jeremie Aliadiere missed Arsenal's best chance after being played in by Alex Song. Aliadiere would have one more season at Arsenal before being sold to Middlesboro, while Song looks as though he will be challenging Kolo for the center-back position.
This year the Barnet fixture looks to be interesting, with youngsters like Vela, Gibbs, Lansbury, Merida, Wiltshire set to feature. There will also be the new signings. Below is a list of those that have been linked with Arsenal so far:
Ben Arfa (Lyon)
Roque Santa Cruz (Cuntburn Rovers)
Samir Nasri (Marseille)
Mahamadou Dabo (St Etienne)
Jean Makoun (Lille)
Lilian Thuram (Barcelona)
Raul Albiol (Valencia)
Alberto Aquilani (Roma)
Mario Gomez (Stuttgart)
Blaise Matuidi (St Etienne)
It's a shame that none of these players will wear an Arsenal shirt.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2009
Shame that AC Milan and Ajax never made it to next seasons Champions League qualifiers. We now have FC Twente and Fiorentina taking their place.
Flamini will be playing UEFA Cup football next season. He said he joined AC Milan for footballing reasons. Enjoy playing against your fellow Frenchman Diarra of Portsmouth.
Conts
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Ben Arfa
Today Lyon signed Miralem Pjanic. He plays in the same position as Ben Arfa. So does this mean that Ben is leaving Lyon for Arsenal? Is Pjanic a replacement for Ben?
Pjanic blanked Arsenal and Barcelona for Lyon. Was his reason for signing for Lyon the promise of first team opportunities?
THE FA CUP FINAL
Like most cup finals this one was a bore. I'm pleased that Portsmouth won. I have nothing against Cardiff City.
Portsmouth have an Arsenal connection. The Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp supported Arsenal as a boy. His father was an avid Gooner. The number two at Pompey is ex-Arsenal captain Tony Adams. Saturday's winner was scored by Kanu. A nice fella who had a fantastic first season for Arsenal. Shame he couldn't repeat his form of 1999 for the rest of his Arsenal career. There's also Sol Campbell (who I have a lot of respect for), Diarra (who I would like to see back at Arsenal) and Lauren (who didn't make the bench but who will always be an Arsenal legend).
At least this year's final was better than the Moan u Cuntski final last year. Shame that those two conts are now contesting the Champions League final.
What a bore that will be.
Pjanic blanked Arsenal and Barcelona for Lyon. Was his reason for signing for Lyon the promise of first team opportunities?
THE FA CUP FINAL
Like most cup finals this one was a bore. I'm pleased that Portsmouth won. I have nothing against Cardiff City.
Portsmouth have an Arsenal connection. The Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp supported Arsenal as a boy. His father was an avid Gooner. The number two at Pompey is ex-Arsenal captain Tony Adams. Saturday's winner was scored by Kanu. A nice fella who had a fantastic first season for Arsenal. Shame he couldn't repeat his form of 1999 for the rest of his Arsenal career. There's also Sol Campbell (who I have a lot of respect for), Diarra (who I would like to see back at Arsenal) and Lauren (who didn't make the bench but who will always be an Arsenal legend).
At least this year's final was better than the Moan u Cuntski final last year. Shame that those two conts are now contesting the Champions League final.
What a bore that will be.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Cont of the Week
On Monday, the Birmingham City chairman David Gold was interviewed by the BBC in relation to abuse he and co-owner David Sullivan received by their own supporters. Immediately after news confirmed that Birmingham had been relegated, Birmingham fans turned their fury on the two owners and Sullivan's two sons.
Gold and Sullivan complained that they had never seen such abuse during their time at Birmingham City. They called the abuse disturbing and uncalled for.
Bollocks.
Those two conts deserve whatever abuse is thrown their way.
Sullivan and Gold became owners of Birmingham City to make money, which they have achieved. Now they want to sell up and get out. Sullivan's shares are for sale at 12 million pounds. A massive profit from what he bought them for.
In December 2007, they tried to sell the club to Hong Kong businessman Carson Yeung. That deal fell through. However, the protracted negotiations with Yeung were one of the reasons behind ex-manager's Steve Bruce's departure to Wigan Athletic.
Bruce was unhappy that Yeung's consortium would not discuss a new contract.
Bruce kept Wigan up, while Birmingham went down.
In April 2008, Sullivan and Managing Director Karen Brady were arrested and questioned by police in connection with allegations of false accounting and conspiracy to defraud.
Sullivan and Gold are conts. Trying to sell their shares mid-season for personal profit is greed at its worst. They weren't thinking of the club's best interests. They were only thinking of themselves. The Birmingham fans didn't come into the equation.
Men like Sullivan and Gold are prime examples of conts who are now in charge of many football clubs around the world.
Fuck them all.
Gold and Sullivan complained that they had never seen such abuse during their time at Birmingham City. They called the abuse disturbing and uncalled for.
Bollocks.
Those two conts deserve whatever abuse is thrown their way.
Sullivan and Gold became owners of Birmingham City to make money, which they have achieved. Now they want to sell up and get out. Sullivan's shares are for sale at 12 million pounds. A massive profit from what he bought them for.
In December 2007, they tried to sell the club to Hong Kong businessman Carson Yeung. That deal fell through. However, the protracted negotiations with Yeung were one of the reasons behind ex-manager's Steve Bruce's departure to Wigan Athletic.
Bruce was unhappy that Yeung's consortium would not discuss a new contract.
Bruce kept Wigan up, while Birmingham went down.
In April 2008, Sullivan and Managing Director Karen Brady were arrested and questioned by police in connection with allegations of false accounting and conspiracy to defraud.
Sullivan and Gold are conts. Trying to sell their shares mid-season for personal profit is greed at its worst. They weren't thinking of the club's best interests. They were only thinking of themselves. The Birmingham fans didn't come into the equation.
Men like Sullivan and Gold are prime examples of conts who are now in charge of many football clubs around the world.
Fuck them all.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Men to Replace Edleman, Flamini et al
The football world is very similar to the US celebrity world - especially this time of year. Instead of which Hollywood actor/actress is dating who etc, it's which club is buying which player.
Arsenal are always linked with everyone and everyone. While their top stars are misquoted as wanting to leave for pastures new.
Fans claim to have insider knowledge on transfers while players agents spin a load of shit in order to get the best deal for their client.
I fell victim to this world three years ago. I was working in London on my mate's house at the time. He was having satellite television installed and the cable guy claimed that his wife was best friend's with Ian Wright's cleaner. He vehemently swore that Wright's cleaner had told his wife that Arsenal were definitely going to sign Sean Wright Phillips from Manchester City. It was a done deal. That night I sent an e-mail to my mate in New York telling him of the news.
Three months later Sean Wright Phillips signed for Chelsea.
Now I tend to ignore transfer gossip. It's boring and half of the players that we are linked with I have never heard of. The ones that I have heard of, I've never seen them play. Youtube clips can give false impressions.
Take Ben Afra for example. Apparently it's a done deal - according to who you may ask? The Associated Press? His agent? The Player himself? Until Arsenal officially make an announcement I would rather concentrate on the ridiculously boring story of Barack Obama calling a female reporter in Detroit "Sweetie." The news networks need to concentrate on "real" stories.
I've never seen Ben Afra play. I know that he plays left-wing for Lyon and that his family are Tunisian. But I've never seen him play. I'm guessing that many other Arsenal fans have never seen him play. And those Arsenal fans that have seen him play, have only seen him play against Moan U in the Champions League. If at all.
The majority of my time is spent shoving alcohol down people's throats and listening to boring drunks talk about their boring lives. Unless you follow French football, you won't have a clue about this Ben Afra bloke. So why are so many Arsenal fans so happy that we maybe signing a player that they have never seen play?
Today more rumors were shoved down our throats. According to the website Teamtalk, Arsenal are trying to prise the Managing Director of Fulham to work at The Emirates. This is a man who fired Chris Coleman only to replace him with Lawrie Sanchez. He gave Mr. Sanchez 20 million pounds to sign average Championship players: David Healy, Aaron Hughes, Chris Baird, Diomansky Kamara and Steven Davis.
I think not.
Then we have rumors that Ya Ya Toure wants to join his brother at Arsenal. You can bet your house on the fact that this rumor will surface every summer as long as Kolo is still at Arsenal. We have Diaby who plays a similar game to Ya Ya. Why waste millions on signing a prototype player?
The players who can play center midfield are currently: Fabregas, Diaby, Gilberto, Denilson and Fran Merida. Add Song, Helb, Djourou and Rosicky to that list and you can see why the Ya Ya rumor is just that.
Arsenal are always linked with everyone and everyone. While their top stars are misquoted as wanting to leave for pastures new.
Fans claim to have insider knowledge on transfers while players agents spin a load of shit in order to get the best deal for their client.
I fell victim to this world three years ago. I was working in London on my mate's house at the time. He was having satellite television installed and the cable guy claimed that his wife was best friend's with Ian Wright's cleaner. He vehemently swore that Wright's cleaner had told his wife that Arsenal were definitely going to sign Sean Wright Phillips from Manchester City. It was a done deal. That night I sent an e-mail to my mate in New York telling him of the news.
Three months later Sean Wright Phillips signed for Chelsea.
Now I tend to ignore transfer gossip. It's boring and half of the players that we are linked with I have never heard of. The ones that I have heard of, I've never seen them play. Youtube clips can give false impressions.
Take Ben Afra for example. Apparently it's a done deal - according to who you may ask? The Associated Press? His agent? The Player himself? Until Arsenal officially make an announcement I would rather concentrate on the ridiculously boring story of Barack Obama calling a female reporter in Detroit "Sweetie." The news networks need to concentrate on "real" stories.
I've never seen Ben Afra play. I know that he plays left-wing for Lyon and that his family are Tunisian. But I've never seen him play. I'm guessing that many other Arsenal fans have never seen him play. And those Arsenal fans that have seen him play, have only seen him play against Moan U in the Champions League. If at all.
The majority of my time is spent shoving alcohol down people's throats and listening to boring drunks talk about their boring lives. Unless you follow French football, you won't have a clue about this Ben Afra bloke. So why are so many Arsenal fans so happy that we maybe signing a player that they have never seen play?
Today more rumors were shoved down our throats. According to the website Teamtalk, Arsenal are trying to prise the Managing Director of Fulham to work at The Emirates. This is a man who fired Chris Coleman only to replace him with Lawrie Sanchez. He gave Mr. Sanchez 20 million pounds to sign average Championship players: David Healy, Aaron Hughes, Chris Baird, Diomansky Kamara and Steven Davis.
I think not.
Then we have rumors that Ya Ya Toure wants to join his brother at Arsenal. You can bet your house on the fact that this rumor will surface every summer as long as Kolo is still at Arsenal. We have Diaby who plays a similar game to Ya Ya. Why waste millions on signing a prototype player?
The players who can play center midfield are currently: Fabregas, Diaby, Gilberto, Denilson and Fran Merida. Add Song, Helb, Djourou and Rosicky to that list and you can see why the Ya Ya rumor is just that.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Craig Bellamy
I used to think that Craig Bellamy was a bit of a cunt. I looked at him as a Welsh Chav with a load of tattoos and bad attitude. He was an example of why many Premiership footballers are piss poor role models.
Bellamy has been cleared of assaulting two women in a Cardiff nightclub, fined for driving a car with no insurance, cleared of racially abusing an Asian bouncer, sent off, banned, and kicked out of Newcastle United and Luckypool.
Bobby Robson described Bellamy as a man who "could start a fight in an empty room." He had run-ins with Terry McDermott, he threw a chair at the Newcastle first team coach John Carver and was eventually shown the exit door by Graeme Souness for refusing to play right-wing against Arsenal.
Newcastle tried to flog Bellamy to Birmingham but after the striker sent a text to the Newcastle chairman that said: "I am Craig Bellamy I don't play for shit clubs" the deal was called off. Shortly afterwards he was sent on loan to Celtic.
After Celtic, Bellamy signed for Blackburn Rovers where he blossomed under manager Mark Hughes - a fellow striker and Welshman. While at Blackburn he sent abusive text messages to the son of the Newcastle chairman and also to the then Newcastle captain Alan Shearer after Newcastle were knocked out of the FA Cup by Moan United.
The following season he was sold to Luckypool but only lasted a season after he attacked fellow team mate John "long ball" Riise with a golf club.
But last week, Craig Bellamy shocked me. This was after he spent 650, 000 pounds of his own money to set up a football academy in war torn Seirra Leone to try and help develop the country's young talent. Bellamy's foundation will set up 14 new leagues, create 68 new boys teams, employ 141 coaches and educate people on health awareness.
Bellamy is promoting the game of football.
In Los Angeles, David Beckham claims to be promoting "soccer". He charges $1000 for five days of coaching per child at his academy.
Like I said earlier, I thought Craig Bellamy was a cunt. Obviously, I was thinking of the wrong person.
Bellamy has been cleared of assaulting two women in a Cardiff nightclub, fined for driving a car with no insurance, cleared of racially abusing an Asian bouncer, sent off, banned, and kicked out of Newcastle United and Luckypool.
Bobby Robson described Bellamy as a man who "could start a fight in an empty room." He had run-ins with Terry McDermott, he threw a chair at the Newcastle first team coach John Carver and was eventually shown the exit door by Graeme Souness for refusing to play right-wing against Arsenal.
Newcastle tried to flog Bellamy to Birmingham but after the striker sent a text to the Newcastle chairman that said: "I am Craig Bellamy I don't play for shit clubs" the deal was called off. Shortly afterwards he was sent on loan to Celtic.
After Celtic, Bellamy signed for Blackburn Rovers where he blossomed under manager Mark Hughes - a fellow striker and Welshman. While at Blackburn he sent abusive text messages to the son of the Newcastle chairman and also to the then Newcastle captain Alan Shearer after Newcastle were knocked out of the FA Cup by Moan United.
The following season he was sold to Luckypool but only lasted a season after he attacked fellow team mate John "long ball" Riise with a golf club.
But last week, Craig Bellamy shocked me. This was after he spent 650, 000 pounds of his own money to set up a football academy in war torn Seirra Leone to try and help develop the country's young talent. Bellamy's foundation will set up 14 new leagues, create 68 new boys teams, employ 141 coaches and educate people on health awareness.
Bellamy is promoting the game of football.
In Los Angeles, David Beckham claims to be promoting "soccer". He charges $1000 for five days of coaching per child at his academy.
Like I said earlier, I thought Craig Bellamy was a cunt. Obviously, I was thinking of the wrong person.
Monday, May 12, 2008
What Was Your Highlight of the Season
Believe or not, it was getting thumped by Spurs.
I don't mean that it was a positive highlight, just that it will stay on my mind and has left a horrible taste on my toungue so that I can hardly wait to face those cocksuckers next season.
In fact, I hope we draw them in both cups as well.
A proper reminder of how inferior they really are was on show this past week when Jermaine Jenas sounded off about how they are going to overtake us and become a big club overnight.
Dream on you shithead.
FUCK OFF YOU SPURS!
I don't mean that it was a positive highlight, just that it will stay on my mind and has left a horrible taste on my toungue so that I can hardly wait to face those cocksuckers next season.
In fact, I hope we draw them in both cups as well.
A proper reminder of how inferior they really are was on show this past week when Jermaine Jenas sounded off about how they are going to overtake us and become a big club overnight.
Dream on you shithead.
FUCK OFF YOU SPURS!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Cont of the Week
A guy named Mike made my choice of Cont of the Week very easy today.
What did Mike do?
He did what I've noticed has become quite common.
He did what I've noticed men and women alike have been doing.
He called a group of (attractive) women "guys".
"As I was telling these guys earlier", he said pointing to a trio of women.
Why does that bother me to the point of making Mike - obviously a hard working and seemingly decent human being - Cont of the Week? It bothers me to that end because that is the type of thing that erodes a language. That is what erodes the aesthetic differences between men and women, obviously, and those between women who aren't easy on the eyes and even the average fitty.
If you didn't know, when a woman is hot and fit, we call her a fitty.
It may seem like a lame description but it beats calling women "guys".
WHY WOULD YOU CALL A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN A GUY??????
The three women in question were beyond fuckable. They were classy and sexy.
They'd get the approval of even the most heterosexual woman. They were hot.
If one or more of them asked me to share their bed, I wouldn't call my mate the next day and say, "I shagged this "guy" last night. She was amazing."
Fuck off Mike, you cont.
What did Mike do?
He did what I've noticed has become quite common.
He did what I've noticed men and women alike have been doing.
He called a group of (attractive) women "guys".
"As I was telling these guys earlier", he said pointing to a trio of women.
Why does that bother me to the point of making Mike - obviously a hard working and seemingly decent human being - Cont of the Week? It bothers me to that end because that is the type of thing that erodes a language. That is what erodes the aesthetic differences between men and women, obviously, and those between women who aren't easy on the eyes and even the average fitty.
If you didn't know, when a woman is hot and fit, we call her a fitty.
It may seem like a lame description but it beats calling women "guys".
WHY WOULD YOU CALL A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN A GUY??????
The three women in question were beyond fuckable. They were classy and sexy.
They'd get the approval of even the most heterosexual woman. They were hot.
If one or more of them asked me to share their bed, I wouldn't call my mate the next day and say, "I shagged this "guy" last night. She was amazing."
Fuck off Mike, you cont.
The Key Decisions in any Football Club are Made By the Board
Barcelona fired Frank Rijkaard today. A second successive season with no trophies was the reason. Frank's downfall was Barcelona's league position not their semi-final exit to Moan United. They finished third, behind Villareal who spent a lot less in the transfer market last summer.
Who was Frank's big mistake?
Thierry Henry.
Why sign another striker when you already have 3 world class strikers at the club? Not to mention two more waiting in the reserves.
Frank should have signed Flamini from Arsenal not Henry. Instead of paying top dollar for a quality midfielder, Frank went to TJ Max and bought a bargain bucket Ya Ya Toure - a decent midfielder but no better than Steven Sidwell at Chelsea.
Why sign Henry? The Barcelona board wanted him. In merchandise alone they recouped a lot of the transfer fee that they paid Arsenal for him.
But Henry has problems. Most notably with his ex-wife.
He says he misses London. He misses his daughter Tia. He probably misses Arsenal as well but can't say that in public. Maybe he still misses his ex. Men always hold more nostalgia for their ex's than women do.
But Henry left Arsenal in a shitty way. He cited the departure of David Dein as a factor for leaving. It is the first time that a player has blamed the departure of a member of the board of directors as a factor in his transfer.
It was a low blow and left a bad taste in my mouth.
I had a lot of respect for Henry until then. I still hold a lot of respect for him but not in the same way as I do for Bergkamp.
But with Henry citing Dein's departure as a factor as to why he signed for Barcelona, it shows how powerful and influential members of the board are these days. A successful football club needs businessmen who understand football. Dein, in Henry's eyes was one of these businessmen.
You only have to look at West Ham to see how fortunate Arsenal fans are with their current board. Look at West Ham's signings last year and what they earn:
Freddie Ljungburg, Keiron Dyer, Craig Bellamy, Dean Ashton, Lucas Neill, Lee Bowyer.
All of which earn over 50,000 pounds a week. That's more than Werder Bremen who will be playing Champions League football again next season. The West Ham board sanctioned those signings and never questioned their manager Alan Curbishley. The Arsenal board would never have given the green light to these signings. But we would never have made Alan Curbishley our manager.
We have learned from the Bruce Rioch season of 1995-96. We are a different club now. One of Europe's elite. Just like Barcelona.
Elite clubs need elite managers. Managers with experience on the big stage. Not coaches who just starting out in their careers. So why did Barcelona appoint Josep Guardiola?
Who was Frank's big mistake?
Thierry Henry.
Why sign another striker when you already have 3 world class strikers at the club? Not to mention two more waiting in the reserves.
Frank should have signed Flamini from Arsenal not Henry. Instead of paying top dollar for a quality midfielder, Frank went to TJ Max and bought a bargain bucket Ya Ya Toure - a decent midfielder but no better than Steven Sidwell at Chelsea.
Why sign Henry? The Barcelona board wanted him. In merchandise alone they recouped a lot of the transfer fee that they paid Arsenal for him.
But Henry has problems. Most notably with his ex-wife.
He says he misses London. He misses his daughter Tia. He probably misses Arsenal as well but can't say that in public. Maybe he still misses his ex. Men always hold more nostalgia for their ex's than women do.
But Henry left Arsenal in a shitty way. He cited the departure of David Dein as a factor for leaving. It is the first time that a player has blamed the departure of a member of the board of directors as a factor in his transfer.
It was a low blow and left a bad taste in my mouth.
I had a lot of respect for Henry until then. I still hold a lot of respect for him but not in the same way as I do for Bergkamp.
But with Henry citing Dein's departure as a factor as to why he signed for Barcelona, it shows how powerful and influential members of the board are these days. A successful football club needs businessmen who understand football. Dein, in Henry's eyes was one of these businessmen.
You only have to look at West Ham to see how fortunate Arsenal fans are with their current board. Look at West Ham's signings last year and what they earn:
Freddie Ljungburg, Keiron Dyer, Craig Bellamy, Dean Ashton, Lucas Neill, Lee Bowyer.
All of which earn over 50,000 pounds a week. That's more than Werder Bremen who will be playing Champions League football again next season. The West Ham board sanctioned those signings and never questioned their manager Alan Curbishley. The Arsenal board would never have given the green light to these signings. But we would never have made Alan Curbishley our manager.
We have learned from the Bruce Rioch season of 1995-96. We are a different club now. One of Europe's elite. Just like Barcelona.
Elite clubs need elite managers. Managers with experience on the big stage. Not coaches who just starting out in their careers. So why did Barcelona appoint Josep Guardiola?
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
King Kev Is Right
Kevin Keegan is not a King. He never will be. But to many myopic Newcastle fans, Keegan is King of Tyneside. That's like being King of Lichtenstein, Andorra or San Marino. No-one outside of Newcastle gives a fuck about this phoney title. It's a sign of how desperate Newcastle fans are.
The fact is that Keegan has won nothing at Newcastle. So why the title?
Being Newcastle's chosen royalty has no standing in the places that matter. Keegan is not going to get VIP treatment at La Bombonera in Buenos Aires. He is not going to be asked to speak at a top level coaching symposium in Brazil or Spain.
However, King Kev still holds sway abroad.
Enter the United States.
Wank coaching organizations such as NSCAA, who are doing a similar job to football to what the nutty Christian right has done to politics in the USA, would bend over backwards for Keegan to speak at their National Convention.
In a country, where nationalism is shoved down the throats of its citizens everyday, inspirational and passionate King Kev works. But then "Keeganism" only works with stupid people. Divs and the easily led.
Many American's are more concerned about illegal immigrants not paying taxes or a pastor speaking some home truths than why their government is throwing taxpayers money away.
Many American's don't question why their government is spending trillions on a war that has no end or any justification for being there in the first place. Am I talking about Iraq or Afghanistan?
You choose.
The President's word is gospel. Never question it. Doing so unpatriotic.
Support the troops, wave the flag (that is made in China), and keep believing in spreading democracy around the world to those countries that are not Western but need to be Westernized. Do these clowns mean countries like Burma? Sudan? Saudi Arabia or Indonesia? Countries where oil pours into western SUVS but human rights remain blocked by a political dam of corruption that is aided by western corporate money.
I can't be bothered with these people. And I can't be bothered with people that believe King Kev will bring back the glory to Newcastle.
Newcastle has never had any glory. The last time they won the league was before World War Two.
Newcastle may win the Carling Cup under Keegan, but that's about it! It's hardly glory. Winning the FA Cup is too much of a stretch.
Keegan doesn't have what it takes to win The Premiership or qualify for the Champions League and he knows it. That's why he has made comments saying so.
Keegan says Newcastle will win the second tier of The Premiership next season. Not The Premiership itself or a top 4 Champions League spot. Not unless he is given millions and millions of pounds.
He has a point. The top 4 will remain and stay: Moan U, Cuntski, Arsenal and Luckypool. The next tier will fight for a UEFA Cup spot either by finishing 5th or winning the Carling Cup or FA cup. Those teams are Spurs, Everton, Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Cuntburn and perhaps Newcastle if Keegan can get his act together.
A poor quality of teams in other words. But, The Premiership is the best league in the world - just like the "soccer moms" believe that America is the best country in the world.
Keegan said recently that The Premiership is in danger of becoming one of the most boring leagues in the world. He's right. Next season we have Stoke v Wigan. Bolton v Sunderland. Middlesbrough v Everton or West Brom v Hull City.
Sounds exciting!
The Premiership will be won by those clubs with the most money: either Cuntski or Moan U again. Just like the race for the White House will be won by either the Democrats or Republicans. The parties with the most money.
Democracy in other words.
The Premiership in other words.
Cunts.
But divs fall for this shit.
Thank God for men like Arsene Wenger.
Later
The fact is that Keegan has won nothing at Newcastle. So why the title?
Being Newcastle's chosen royalty has no standing in the places that matter. Keegan is not going to get VIP treatment at La Bombonera in Buenos Aires. He is not going to be asked to speak at a top level coaching symposium in Brazil or Spain.
However, King Kev still holds sway abroad.
Enter the United States.
Wank coaching organizations such as NSCAA, who are doing a similar job to football to what the nutty Christian right has done to politics in the USA, would bend over backwards for Keegan to speak at their National Convention.
In a country, where nationalism is shoved down the throats of its citizens everyday, inspirational and passionate King Kev works. But then "Keeganism" only works with stupid people. Divs and the easily led.
Many American's are more concerned about illegal immigrants not paying taxes or a pastor speaking some home truths than why their government is throwing taxpayers money away.
Many American's don't question why their government is spending trillions on a war that has no end or any justification for being there in the first place. Am I talking about Iraq or Afghanistan?
You choose.
The President's word is gospel. Never question it. Doing so unpatriotic.
Support the troops, wave the flag (that is made in China), and keep believing in spreading democracy around the world to those countries that are not Western but need to be Westernized. Do these clowns mean countries like Burma? Sudan? Saudi Arabia or Indonesia? Countries where oil pours into western SUVS but human rights remain blocked by a political dam of corruption that is aided by western corporate money.
I can't be bothered with these people. And I can't be bothered with people that believe King Kev will bring back the glory to Newcastle.
Newcastle has never had any glory. The last time they won the league was before World War Two.
Newcastle may win the Carling Cup under Keegan, but that's about it! It's hardly glory. Winning the FA Cup is too much of a stretch.
Keegan doesn't have what it takes to win The Premiership or qualify for the Champions League and he knows it. That's why he has made comments saying so.
Keegan says Newcastle will win the second tier of The Premiership next season. Not The Premiership itself or a top 4 Champions League spot. Not unless he is given millions and millions of pounds.
He has a point. The top 4 will remain and stay: Moan U, Cuntski, Arsenal and Luckypool. The next tier will fight for a UEFA Cup spot either by finishing 5th or winning the Carling Cup or FA cup. Those teams are Spurs, Everton, Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Cuntburn and perhaps Newcastle if Keegan can get his act together.
A poor quality of teams in other words. But, The Premiership is the best league in the world - just like the "soccer moms" believe that America is the best country in the world.
Keegan said recently that The Premiership is in danger of becoming one of the most boring leagues in the world. He's right. Next season we have Stoke v Wigan. Bolton v Sunderland. Middlesbrough v Everton or West Brom v Hull City.
Sounds exciting!
The Premiership will be won by those clubs with the most money: either Cuntski or Moan U again. Just like the race for the White House will be won by either the Democrats or Republicans. The parties with the most money.
Democracy in other words.
The Premiership in other words.
Cunts.
But divs fall for this shit.
Thank God for men like Arsene Wenger.
Later
Monday, May 5, 2008
Jens Lehmann is and Arsenal legend
If you watch the post match interview of Jens Lehmann after a memorable run out against Everton Sunday - his last at The Emirates - it's hard not to respect the man. Sure, opposing fans and many neutrals will remind me that Jens is ill-tempered on his best day and is seen as a proper cunt, generally speaking. I'm not so sure, to be honest.
Not long ago, you couldn't find a better keeper. He commanded his box, made key saves, and was generally quite reliable, until those early season mistakes cost him his job. He is a devoted family man, articulate, and once blanked Fat Frank and cunty Jamie Redknapp at a London restaurant. That alone deserves kudos.
So what he picked fights and fought battles that he perhaps should not have. With Jens in goal, we had what we'd missed since the FA dulled our teeth - he gave us that sharp edge. He often angered Arsene and always gave the media fodder but I found his antics amusing.
I love Jens and I will miss him.
Not long ago, you couldn't find a better keeper. He commanded his box, made key saves, and was generally quite reliable, until those early season mistakes cost him his job. He is a devoted family man, articulate, and once blanked Fat Frank and cunty Jamie Redknapp at a London restaurant. That alone deserves kudos.
So what he picked fights and fought battles that he perhaps should not have. With Jens in goal, we had what we'd missed since the FA dulled our teeth - he gave us that sharp edge. He often angered Arsene and always gave the media fodder but I found his antics amusing.
I love Jens and I will miss him.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Cont of the Week
The award for Cont of the Week goes to Rafa Benitez.
His mind games against Didier Dogbreath massively failed.
It was a major contribution to Chelsea's win on Wednesday night.
His rotation policy also failed.
Yet, so many conts were praising it saying that Rafa was a genius. That his players look fresh because of it. Where are these conts now that Luckypool have won fucking zero?
After the 1-1 Quarter-final 1st leg tie against Arsenal this is what the fat Spanish cont had to say about the blatant penalty by Kuyt that was never given:
"I was watching the replays and I don't think it was clear. In England it is not a penalty."
But in every other country it is?
Then to protect his guilty man Kuyt he states that:
"Kuyt was man of the match. He was always in support."
Kuyt played like a top level journeyman pro. He scored, he played the ball simple, he tracked back, he defended and was hard-working. He did nothing special apart from grab Helb by the arm just as he was about to cross or shoot when through on goal. A deliberate foul that deserved a sending off - minimum a yellow card.
Kuyt is nothing more than a Dutch Darren Fletcher. Except Kuyt cost 10 million. Would you spend 10 million on Darren Fletcher? Fuck no!
We all know that in the return leg that the cheating "yet so very honest Christian" Babel dived to get Luckypool back into the match. Not surprisingly, Rafa was silent on this.
Well Rafa, your stupid words about Didier Dogbreath being a diver will eventually cost you your job.
I give Rafa another season of failure and then it's adios. And I won't miss his boring tactics, his teams boring style of play or his boring press conferences.
You have one season.
Win the Champions League or The Premiership.
Or face the sack.
By the way lose some weight and shave the goatee.
Sort out your hair.
Make an appointment at Vidal Sassoon.
Because you look terrible - You fat, ugly, cont.
Later
His mind games against Didier Dogbreath massively failed.
It was a major contribution to Chelsea's win on Wednesday night.
His rotation policy also failed.
Yet, so many conts were praising it saying that Rafa was a genius. That his players look fresh because of it. Where are these conts now that Luckypool have won fucking zero?
After the 1-1 Quarter-final 1st leg tie against Arsenal this is what the fat Spanish cont had to say about the blatant penalty by Kuyt that was never given:
"I was watching the replays and I don't think it was clear. In England it is not a penalty."
But in every other country it is?
Then to protect his guilty man Kuyt he states that:
"Kuyt was man of the match. He was always in support."
Kuyt played like a top level journeyman pro. He scored, he played the ball simple, he tracked back, he defended and was hard-working. He did nothing special apart from grab Helb by the arm just as he was about to cross or shoot when through on goal. A deliberate foul that deserved a sending off - minimum a yellow card.
Kuyt is nothing more than a Dutch Darren Fletcher. Except Kuyt cost 10 million. Would you spend 10 million on Darren Fletcher? Fuck no!
We all know that in the return leg that the cheating "yet so very honest Christian" Babel dived to get Luckypool back into the match. Not surprisingly, Rafa was silent on this.
Well Rafa, your stupid words about Didier Dogbreath being a diver will eventually cost you your job.
I give Rafa another season of failure and then it's adios. And I won't miss his boring tactics, his teams boring style of play or his boring press conferences.
You have one season.
Win the Champions League or The Premiership.
Or face the sack.
By the way lose some weight and shave the goatee.
Sort out your hair.
Make an appointment at Vidal Sassoon.
Because you look terrible - You fat, ugly, cont.
Later
Thursday, May 1, 2008
WTF Are Excersoles?
The digital age has brought us innumerable benefits. I’ll list a few in case you’ve been stuck in 1975 and really haven’t a clue what’s happened since buying your last pair of Excersoles.
Filmmaking is now easier than it was to pick up a hooker on West 29th St. Since the cunt named Giuliani exiled them to somewhere south of Hoboken, many have figured out how to really use the system. I’ve heard of a group that pooled money from a month’s worth of swallowed babies and formed their own online sex shop filled with home made flicks. Now they’re filthy…filthy rich that is. So what they’ve put Habib’s Videos out of business! He can sell all those VHS copies of Behind the Green Door as collector’s items. I can use a fresh copy.
Filmmaking is now easier than it was to pick up a hooker on West 29th St. Since the cunt named Giuliani exiled them to somewhere south of Hoboken, many have figured out how to really use the system. I’ve heard of a group that pooled money from a month’s worth of swallowed babies and formed their own online sex shop filled with home made flicks. Now they’re filthy…filthy rich that is. So what they’ve put Habib’s Videos out of business! He can sell all those VHS copies of Behind the Green Door as collector’s items. I can use a fresh copy.
And remember when you were forced to memorize math formulas? No need anymore my son. You can point and click sines and cosines all day long.
Insurance claims processing is super fast now. Seriously! Most of the fat cunts who handle them used to own auto body shops that their slutty ex-wives now own. They come out with their digital cameras and their laptops and in less time than those quick sessions in bed with your ex Mrs. (yeah, the same sessions that made her your ex), you have a check in hand for damages that were your fault because you were sending a text message instead of paying attention to the road.
We also have blogs now. Boy do we have blogs! Football blogs are good places to catch up on the latest transfer gossip, let the world know what you think about your club’s manager, or if you believe Rooney gives it to Ronaldo up the bum. But most of them are fairly ordinary. This blog strives to be a little different. I like to think this is where those who need to say something can come and let loose. I don’t feel that any healthy male with a reasonable income, who is not physically handicapped, should ever complain. Palestinians, starving Haitians, that Sudanese woman who just got raped, again, have the right to complain.
Having said that, I also accept that football fans have as much to rant about as anyone else. That is if you accept that football is life. I do, BTW. So for those who cannot stomach the language used here, or the venomous attacks on opposing players and managers, or the expressions of hate for the lack of substance in pop culture, or if you just don’t like my position on anything from curry to mondongo, from SUV’s to yoyos, from Jill Scott to the legacy of Adi Dassler, I don’t give a shit. This is the place to discuss football and almost anything else. If you don’t like it here, go read someone else’s pile of dung. I offer that too but at least I admit it and have no pretense about being anything but frank, willing to hear and share an opinion, and a lover of The Beautiful Game.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
What Comes Around Goes Around Luckypool You Fucks
I'm so fucking pleased that Luckypool are OUT.
No Number 6.
No north-west derby with their bum-chum pals from Manchester.
No trophies. Nothing. Fuck-all. And they deserve Fuck-all.
They were lucky against Arsenal. Boring to watch and arrogant to boot. I hope that they are feeling it - the slags.
When Chelsea scored to make it 2-1 it wasn't a surprise to see that cheating God freak Babel dive again. Like he did against us in the quarter-final. An honest Christian isn't he? This time though, the diver didn't con the ref. But then the diving didn't stop there did it. Not with Sami Hypia diving at the start of the second period of extra time. Is that the only way they can win? Cheats!
Justice was done tonight. Now Luckypool, enjoy your boardroom civil war this summer.
Wankers
No Number 6.
No north-west derby with their bum-chum pals from Manchester.
No trophies. Nothing. Fuck-all. And they deserve Fuck-all.
They were lucky against Arsenal. Boring to watch and arrogant to boot. I hope that they are feeling it - the slags.
When Chelsea scored to make it 2-1 it wasn't a surprise to see that cheating God freak Babel dive again. Like he did against us in the quarter-final. An honest Christian isn't he? This time though, the diver didn't con the ref. But then the diving didn't stop there did it. Not with Sami Hypia diving at the start of the second period of extra time. Is that the only way they can win? Cheats!
Justice was done tonight. Now Luckypool, enjoy your boardroom civil war this summer.
Wankers
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Welcome to Moscow
The BBC World Service reported yesterday on the unease that remains in Chechnya. Mothers lament the disappearance of their sons. Prisoners endure torture. Life in the Russian controlled region is generally a fucked up proposition. Contrast that with the AIG wearing cocksuckers that will travel to Moscow for the Champions League Final - supreme scum of the football world, the cunts of cunts, Manchester’s finest, happier than queers with moose-cocks up their arses.
I pray that somewhere in the Caucasus Mountains, that there’s a rebel stronghold armed to the teeth and waiting for that perfect moment to drop in on their Muscovite comrades. Oh let that day be 21 May, 2008. I’m no Barcelona fan, but yesterday I would’ve given good money for a Thierry Henry (or a Rio Ferdinand own goal) equalizer on 2 minutes 59 seconds of injury time. That would’ve been better than sex.
They say the odds of being in a plane crash are roughly 1 in 500,000. The odds of being bitten by a bat, twice, are probably greater but no less what I want to happen to that red-nosed bastard who cannot die a long and painful enough death for my satisfaction. Diptheria has some of the most uncomfortable symptoms of any treatable disease. What are the odds of the entire squad of Manc scum catching it? Too fucking long, that’s what they are. And what about some super powerful dormant strain of the plague, left over from the post Mongolian era, finding its way from Georgia to Moscow to greet Nani and the rest of those mother-fuckers upon landing!?!? John O’Shite, Anderson, Giggs you fucking hairy twat, Ronaldo you cock-sucking queer, welcome to Moscow.
And one last word on that cunt Tommy Smyth; if I saw him on fire, I’d do my best to put it out…WITH A FUCKING AXE.
I pray that somewhere in the Caucasus Mountains, that there’s a rebel stronghold armed to the teeth and waiting for that perfect moment to drop in on their Muscovite comrades. Oh let that day be 21 May, 2008. I’m no Barcelona fan, but yesterday I would’ve given good money for a Thierry Henry (or a Rio Ferdinand own goal) equalizer on 2 minutes 59 seconds of injury time. That would’ve been better than sex.
They say the odds of being in a plane crash are roughly 1 in 500,000. The odds of being bitten by a bat, twice, are probably greater but no less what I want to happen to that red-nosed bastard who cannot die a long and painful enough death for my satisfaction. Diptheria has some of the most uncomfortable symptoms of any treatable disease. What are the odds of the entire squad of Manc scum catching it? Too fucking long, that’s what they are. And what about some super powerful dormant strain of the plague, left over from the post Mongolian era, finding its way from Georgia to Moscow to greet Nani and the rest of those mother-fuckers upon landing!?!? John O’Shite, Anderson, Giggs you fucking hairy twat, Ronaldo you cock-sucking queer, welcome to Moscow.
And one last word on that cunt Tommy Smyth; if I saw him on fire, I’d do my best to put it out…WITH A FUCKING AXE.
C'mon Barca
Last night we beat Derby County 6-2. I'm not going to report on the game. Other websites have so why add to the list.
I watched the game on my own at George's Red Neck Sports Bar in Charleston. Apart from two fat Red Necks playing pinball I had the bar to myself, which was sweet apart from the 80's rock music and shit food.
We should have scored more.
Any team that has Darren Moore and Alan Stubbs at the heart of it's defense doesn't deserve to be in the Premiership. Both are pit ponies that should be delivering coal from down the mine not playing Premiership football live on TV screens around the world.
If clubs like Derby field players such as Moore (age 34), Stubbs (age 36), Robbie Savage (age 34), the extremely average American Eddie Lewis (age 33) and the journey man thug Andy Todd (age 31) then you have to question the standard of the Premiership.
Andy Todd is the bloke who, while playing for Cuntburn Rovers against us in the FA cup semi-final three seasons ago, deliberately smashed his elbow in Robin van Persie's face. This was just after RvP had just put us two up after coming on as a sub. Todd received no ban, just a warning by the FA. Helb last week received a three match ban for a girly flick of the hand on a Reading player called Cunty. Andy Todd = cunt.
So West Brom got promoted to the Premiership last night. They have recent Premiership experience, a decent stadium and play decent football compared to all the other cloggers in the Championship. I would rather see them in the Premiership than Bolton. Nevertheless, the teams fighting for the two other remaining promotion spots don't look promising. Let's look at the list:
Stoke City (a real dump of a town that has no tourist spots and is only famous for it's chavs and hooligans. Oh, they used to make pottery there. Your better off bombing Stoke and starting all over again) ;
Hull City (a rugby league town where everyone looks malnourished and depressed);
Bristol City (one of Britain's decent cities when compared to shit-holes like Middlesbrough. But have you ever spoken to a local there? Their accents sound as if they have just fucked a turnip. Bumpkins mate!);
The long-ball but work hard Watford (they have decent nightclub in Watford where I met a lot of teenage mums looking to get pregnant again. The level of conversation was about as low as Watford's league position when they were last in The Premiership. To talk to these thick birds I needed a lot of alcohol. To watch Watford I also need a ton of alcohol. Still, like Arsenal, I left Watford with 3 points in the bag);
The always moaning Neill Warnock's go in hard Crystal Palace (I always hated going to Selhurst Park. It's right down there on the edges of south London. It attracts cunts who love cricket, take council elections seriously and dress like Richard Branson. They could have been a cool club when Ian Wright was there but they blew it. Instead of going down the Wrighty road, they went down the Gareth Southgate road and failed. Fuck em!)
Then there's the possibility of lump it forward Wolves under Mick McCarthy!
Fuck me, the Premiership with any of these teams in it is going to be the best in the world once again. Pass me the crack pipe.
Tonight, Barca play Moan U at Old Twatford. Unfortunately, only ESPN2 will be showing the game. This means that the blind, talking potato Tommy Smyth, who is the biggest Irish cunt on the planet will commenting. So once again I will have to watch the game in silence. But if Barca win I will turn the sound back on just to hear Tommy's gutted voice. Cunt.
Later
I watched the game on my own at George's Red Neck Sports Bar in Charleston. Apart from two fat Red Necks playing pinball I had the bar to myself, which was sweet apart from the 80's rock music and shit food.
We should have scored more.
Any team that has Darren Moore and Alan Stubbs at the heart of it's defense doesn't deserve to be in the Premiership. Both are pit ponies that should be delivering coal from down the mine not playing Premiership football live on TV screens around the world.
If clubs like Derby field players such as Moore (age 34), Stubbs (age 36), Robbie Savage (age 34), the extremely average American Eddie Lewis (age 33) and the journey man thug Andy Todd (age 31) then you have to question the standard of the Premiership.
Andy Todd is the bloke who, while playing for Cuntburn Rovers against us in the FA cup semi-final three seasons ago, deliberately smashed his elbow in Robin van Persie's face. This was just after RvP had just put us two up after coming on as a sub. Todd received no ban, just a warning by the FA. Helb last week received a three match ban for a girly flick of the hand on a Reading player called Cunty. Andy Todd = cunt.
So West Brom got promoted to the Premiership last night. They have recent Premiership experience, a decent stadium and play decent football compared to all the other cloggers in the Championship. I would rather see them in the Premiership than Bolton. Nevertheless, the teams fighting for the two other remaining promotion spots don't look promising. Let's look at the list:
Stoke City (a real dump of a town that has no tourist spots and is only famous for it's chavs and hooligans. Oh, they used to make pottery there. Your better off bombing Stoke and starting all over again) ;
Hull City (a rugby league town where everyone looks malnourished and depressed);
Bristol City (one of Britain's decent cities when compared to shit-holes like Middlesbrough. But have you ever spoken to a local there? Their accents sound as if they have just fucked a turnip. Bumpkins mate!);
The long-ball but work hard Watford (they have decent nightclub in Watford where I met a lot of teenage mums looking to get pregnant again. The level of conversation was about as low as Watford's league position when they were last in The Premiership. To talk to these thick birds I needed a lot of alcohol. To watch Watford I also need a ton of alcohol. Still, like Arsenal, I left Watford with 3 points in the bag);
The always moaning Neill Warnock's go in hard Crystal Palace (I always hated going to Selhurst Park. It's right down there on the edges of south London. It attracts cunts who love cricket, take council elections seriously and dress like Richard Branson. They could have been a cool club when Ian Wright was there but they blew it. Instead of going down the Wrighty road, they went down the Gareth Southgate road and failed. Fuck em!)
Then there's the possibility of lump it forward Wolves under Mick McCarthy!
Fuck me, the Premiership with any of these teams in it is going to be the best in the world once again. Pass me the crack pipe.
Tonight, Barca play Moan U at Old Twatford. Unfortunately, only ESPN2 will be showing the game. This means that the blind, talking potato Tommy Smyth, who is the biggest Irish cunt on the planet will commenting. So once again I will have to watch the game in silence. But if Barca win I will turn the sound back on just to hear Tommy's gutted voice. Cunt.
Later
Monday, April 28, 2008
The Sign of Four
Four players in the PFA Team of the Season is scant consolation for what looks likely to be another trophyless season. The fact that we have very good players who've been recognized as such by their peers is...nice! But I have no doubt they'd all do without the recognition if it meant raising the league title. That's what they play for. The rest is trimmings. I can't argue with the selections really - the four chosen players have had good to excellent seasons.
Having said that, is it unfair to have expected Cesc to score four more goals in the EPL? Is it unfair to feel Adebayor should've buried four more chances in the league to put him on 25 goals at the time of writing? The eight additional goals might not have made a difference but maybe they would have. There's no way to know for sure. With all the suggested "reasons" why we've failed to win anything, 15 additional points would have been more than enough to win the league.
We've drawn 11 and lost 3 to date. If 7 of the 8 additional goals were scored in 7 of the 11 draws, that would give us 14 more points. If the 8th goal were scored vs either, Boro, Chelsea, or Utd (our 3 defeats, all by one goal), that would give us a total of 15 more points. We'd now be on 89 and champions. I'm not placing the weight of the entire season of Cesc and Adebayor. I just feel that we weren't that far away. We didn't collapse as much as we weren't proficient when we needed to be.
The question of why Hleb or Eboue or any other combination of players didn't contribute more goals is for another day.
Having said that, is it unfair to have expected Cesc to score four more goals in the EPL? Is it unfair to feel Adebayor should've buried four more chances in the league to put him on 25 goals at the time of writing? The eight additional goals might not have made a difference but maybe they would have. There's no way to know for sure. With all the suggested "reasons" why we've failed to win anything, 15 additional points would have been more than enough to win the league.
We've drawn 11 and lost 3 to date. If 7 of the 8 additional goals were scored in 7 of the 11 draws, that would give us 14 more points. If the 8th goal were scored vs either, Boro, Chelsea, or Utd (our 3 defeats, all by one goal), that would give us a total of 15 more points. We'd now be on 89 and champions. I'm not placing the weight of the entire season of Cesc and Adebayor. I just feel that we weren't that far away. We didn't collapse as much as we weren't proficient when we needed to be.
The question of why Hleb or Eboue or any other combination of players didn't contribute more goals is for another day.
The Title race
Hate: To dislike intensely or passionately.
Moan United: ditto above.
You now understand my feelings towards that cesspit of a club. It's why I want Chelsea to win the Premiership this season. A lot of Gooners might be shaking their heads on that one but I don't give a fuck.
Obviously Arsenal was my first choice but that's not happening this season. So I would rather have Chelsea snatch it away from those cocky cunts from "Up Norf" Just being able to see Moan U fans gutted after having the title "wrapped up" will be a decent end to a wank season.
By the way, the behavior of the Moan United players and staff at Stamford Bridge was similar to that of a bunch of college kids from Yale trying to act like gang bangers from Compton.
Fuck off Rio trying to give it the large to a woman steward in the tunnel after the game.
Fuck off Hargreaves throwing the ball at the feet of the ref at the end of the game.
You're so hard Hargreaves you fucking Canadian nonce.
Hargreaves to me sums up how shit the England team has become. When a country, whose fans believe it's national team is the best in the world, has to rely on an ice-hockey player from Canada to be it's midfield hatchet man, you know you ain't going to win shit or play attractive football for a while. The only difference between Hargreaves and Philip Neville is that Hargreaves isn't as ugly and can score the odd free-kick. Oh and 15 million pounds that Moan U got mugged for. Cont.
The pushing and shoving match when Moan U players went back out on to the pitch after the game had finished was a huge disappointment. Why didn't one of the Chelsea stewards just fucking "lamp" Evra on the jaw. Do some permanent damage and end the cunts season right there and then? What did the steward have to lose? His 10 pound an hour job. Come on mate, you would have been a Chelsea legend by now!
Moving on. I'm off to watch Arsenal reserves play Derby at some Red Neck sports bar where fat, white, baseball cap wearing NASCAR loving slags rule the roost. I have no choice because I don't have SETANTA.
Later
Moan United: ditto above.
You now understand my feelings towards that cesspit of a club. It's why I want Chelsea to win the Premiership this season. A lot of Gooners might be shaking their heads on that one but I don't give a fuck.
Obviously Arsenal was my first choice but that's not happening this season. So I would rather have Chelsea snatch it away from those cocky cunts from "Up Norf" Just being able to see Moan U fans gutted after having the title "wrapped up" will be a decent end to a wank season.
By the way, the behavior of the Moan United players and staff at Stamford Bridge was similar to that of a bunch of college kids from Yale trying to act like gang bangers from Compton.
Fuck off Rio trying to give it the large to a woman steward in the tunnel after the game.
Fuck off Hargreaves throwing the ball at the feet of the ref at the end of the game.
You're so hard Hargreaves you fucking Canadian nonce.
Hargreaves to me sums up how shit the England team has become. When a country, whose fans believe it's national team is the best in the world, has to rely on an ice-hockey player from Canada to be it's midfield hatchet man, you know you ain't going to win shit or play attractive football for a while. The only difference between Hargreaves and Philip Neville is that Hargreaves isn't as ugly and can score the odd free-kick. Oh and 15 million pounds that Moan U got mugged for. Cont.
The pushing and shoving match when Moan U players went back out on to the pitch after the game had finished was a huge disappointment. Why didn't one of the Chelsea stewards just fucking "lamp" Evra on the jaw. Do some permanent damage and end the cunts season right there and then? What did the steward have to lose? His 10 pound an hour job. Come on mate, you would have been a Chelsea legend by now!
Moving on. I'm off to watch Arsenal reserves play Derby at some Red Neck sports bar where fat, white, baseball cap wearing NASCAR loving slags rule the roost. I have no choice because I don't have SETANTA.
Later
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