The Men to Replace Edleman, Flamini et al

The football world is very similar to the US celebrity world - especially this time of year. Instead of which Hollywood actor/actress is dating who etc, it's which club is buying which player.

Arsenal are always linked with everyone and everyone. While their top stars are misquoted as wanting to leave for pastures new.

Fans claim to have insider knowledge on transfers while players agents spin a load of shit in order to get the best deal for their client.

I fell victim to this world three years ago. I was working in London on my mate's house at the time. He was having satellite television installed and the cable guy claimed that his wife was best friend's with Ian Wright's cleaner. He vehemently swore that Wright's cleaner had told his wife that Arsenal were definitely going to sign Sean Wright Phillips from Manchester City. It was a done deal. That night I sent an e-mail to my mate in New York telling him of the news.

Three months later Sean Wright Phillips signed for Chelsea.

Now I tend to ignore transfer gossip. It's boring and half of the players that we are linked with I have never heard of. The ones that I have heard of, I've never seen them play. Youtube clips can give false impressions.

Take Ben Afra for example. Apparently it's a done deal - according to who you may ask? The Associated Press? His agent? The Player himself? Until Arsenal officially make an announcement I would rather concentrate on the ridiculously boring story of Barack Obama calling a female reporter in Detroit "Sweetie." The news networks need to concentrate on "real" stories.

I've never seen Ben Afra play. I know that he plays left-wing for Lyon and that his family are Tunisian. But I've never seen him play. I'm guessing that many other Arsenal fans have never seen him play. And those Arsenal fans that have seen him play, have only seen him play against Moan U in the Champions League. If at all.

The majority of my time is spent shoving alcohol down people's throats and listening to boring drunks talk about their boring lives. Unless you follow French football, you won't have a clue about this Ben Afra bloke. So why are so many Arsenal fans so happy that we maybe signing a player that they have never seen play?

Today more rumors were shoved down our throats. According to the website Teamtalk, Arsenal are trying to prise the Managing Director of Fulham to work at The Emirates. This is a man who fired Chris Coleman only to replace him with Lawrie Sanchez. He gave Mr. Sanchez 20 million pounds to sign average Championship players: David Healy, Aaron Hughes, Chris Baird, Diomansky Kamara and Steven Davis.

I think not.

Then we have rumors that Ya Ya Toure wants to join his brother at Arsenal. You can bet your house on the fact that this rumor will surface every summer as long as Kolo is still at Arsenal. We have Diaby who plays a similar game to Ya Ya. Why waste millions on signing a prototype player?

The players who can play center midfield are currently: Fabregas, Diaby, Gilberto, Denilson and Fran Merida. Add Song, Helb, Djourou and Rosicky to that list and you can see why the Ya Ya rumor is just that.