I'm so fucking pleased that Luckypool are OUT.
No Number 6.
No north-west derby with their bum-chum pals from Manchester.
No trophies. Nothing. Fuck-all. And they deserve Fuck-all.
They were lucky against Arsenal. Boring to watch and arrogant to boot. I hope that they are feeling it - the slags.
When Chelsea scored to make it 2-1 it wasn't a surprise to see that cheating God freak Babel dive again. Like he did against us in the quarter-final. An honest Christian isn't he? This time though, the diver didn't con the ref. But then the diving didn't stop there did it. Not with Sami Hypia diving at the start of the second period of extra time. Is that the only way they can win? Cheats!
Justice was done tonight. Now Luckypool, enjoy your boardroom civil war this summer.
Wankers
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Welcome to Moscow
The BBC World Service reported yesterday on the unease that remains in Chechnya. Mothers lament the disappearance of their sons. Prisoners endure torture. Life in the Russian controlled region is generally a fucked up proposition. Contrast that with the AIG wearing cocksuckers that will travel to Moscow for the Champions League Final - supreme scum of the football world, the cunts of cunts, Manchester’s finest, happier than queers with moose-cocks up their arses.
I pray that somewhere in the Caucasus Mountains, that there’s a rebel stronghold armed to the teeth and waiting for that perfect moment to drop in on their Muscovite comrades. Oh let that day be 21 May, 2008. I’m no Barcelona fan, but yesterday I would’ve given good money for a Thierry Henry (or a Rio Ferdinand own goal) equalizer on 2 minutes 59 seconds of injury time. That would’ve been better than sex.
They say the odds of being in a plane crash are roughly 1 in 500,000. The odds of being bitten by a bat, twice, are probably greater but no less what I want to happen to that red-nosed bastard who cannot die a long and painful enough death for my satisfaction. Diptheria has some of the most uncomfortable symptoms of any treatable disease. What are the odds of the entire squad of Manc scum catching it? Too fucking long, that’s what they are. And what about some super powerful dormant strain of the plague, left over from the post Mongolian era, finding its way from Georgia to Moscow to greet Nani and the rest of those mother-fuckers upon landing!?!? John O’Shite, Anderson, Giggs you fucking hairy twat, Ronaldo you cock-sucking queer, welcome to Moscow.
And one last word on that cunt Tommy Smyth; if I saw him on fire, I’d do my best to put it out…WITH A FUCKING AXE.
I pray that somewhere in the Caucasus Mountains, that there’s a rebel stronghold armed to the teeth and waiting for that perfect moment to drop in on their Muscovite comrades. Oh let that day be 21 May, 2008. I’m no Barcelona fan, but yesterday I would’ve given good money for a Thierry Henry (or a Rio Ferdinand own goal) equalizer on 2 minutes 59 seconds of injury time. That would’ve been better than sex.
They say the odds of being in a plane crash are roughly 1 in 500,000. The odds of being bitten by a bat, twice, are probably greater but no less what I want to happen to that red-nosed bastard who cannot die a long and painful enough death for my satisfaction. Diptheria has some of the most uncomfortable symptoms of any treatable disease. What are the odds of the entire squad of Manc scum catching it? Too fucking long, that’s what they are. And what about some super powerful dormant strain of the plague, left over from the post Mongolian era, finding its way from Georgia to Moscow to greet Nani and the rest of those mother-fuckers upon landing!?!? John O’Shite, Anderson, Giggs you fucking hairy twat, Ronaldo you cock-sucking queer, welcome to Moscow.
And one last word on that cunt Tommy Smyth; if I saw him on fire, I’d do my best to put it out…WITH A FUCKING AXE.
C'mon Barca
Last night we beat Derby County 6-2. I'm not going to report on the game. Other websites have so why add to the list.
I watched the game on my own at George's Red Neck Sports Bar in Charleston. Apart from two fat Red Necks playing pinball I had the bar to myself, which was sweet apart from the 80's rock music and shit food.
We should have scored more.
Any team that has Darren Moore and Alan Stubbs at the heart of it's defense doesn't deserve to be in the Premiership. Both are pit ponies that should be delivering coal from down the mine not playing Premiership football live on TV screens around the world.
If clubs like Derby field players such as Moore (age 34), Stubbs (age 36), Robbie Savage (age 34), the extremely average American Eddie Lewis (age 33) and the journey man thug Andy Todd (age 31) then you have to question the standard of the Premiership.
Andy Todd is the bloke who, while playing for Cuntburn Rovers against us in the FA cup semi-final three seasons ago, deliberately smashed his elbow in Robin van Persie's face. This was just after RvP had just put us two up after coming on as a sub. Todd received no ban, just a warning by the FA. Helb last week received a three match ban for a girly flick of the hand on a Reading player called Cunty. Andy Todd = cunt.
So West Brom got promoted to the Premiership last night. They have recent Premiership experience, a decent stadium and play decent football compared to all the other cloggers in the Championship. I would rather see them in the Premiership than Bolton. Nevertheless, the teams fighting for the two other remaining promotion spots don't look promising. Let's look at the list:
Stoke City (a real dump of a town that has no tourist spots and is only famous for it's chavs and hooligans. Oh, they used to make pottery there. Your better off bombing Stoke and starting all over again) ;
Hull City (a rugby league town where everyone looks malnourished and depressed);
Bristol City (one of Britain's decent cities when compared to shit-holes like Middlesbrough. But have you ever spoken to a local there? Their accents sound as if they have just fucked a turnip. Bumpkins mate!);
The long-ball but work hard Watford (they have decent nightclub in Watford where I met a lot of teenage mums looking to get pregnant again. The level of conversation was about as low as Watford's league position when they were last in The Premiership. To talk to these thick birds I needed a lot of alcohol. To watch Watford I also need a ton of alcohol. Still, like Arsenal, I left Watford with 3 points in the bag);
The always moaning Neill Warnock's go in hard Crystal Palace (I always hated going to Selhurst Park. It's right down there on the edges of south London. It attracts cunts who love cricket, take council elections seriously and dress like Richard Branson. They could have been a cool club when Ian Wright was there but they blew it. Instead of going down the Wrighty road, they went down the Gareth Southgate road and failed. Fuck em!)
Then there's the possibility of lump it forward Wolves under Mick McCarthy!
Fuck me, the Premiership with any of these teams in it is going to be the best in the world once again. Pass me the crack pipe.
Tonight, Barca play Moan U at Old Twatford. Unfortunately, only ESPN2 will be showing the game. This means that the blind, talking potato Tommy Smyth, who is the biggest Irish cunt on the planet will commenting. So once again I will have to watch the game in silence. But if Barca win I will turn the sound back on just to hear Tommy's gutted voice. Cunt.
Later
I watched the game on my own at George's Red Neck Sports Bar in Charleston. Apart from two fat Red Necks playing pinball I had the bar to myself, which was sweet apart from the 80's rock music and shit food.
We should have scored more.
Any team that has Darren Moore and Alan Stubbs at the heart of it's defense doesn't deserve to be in the Premiership. Both are pit ponies that should be delivering coal from down the mine not playing Premiership football live on TV screens around the world.
If clubs like Derby field players such as Moore (age 34), Stubbs (age 36), Robbie Savage (age 34), the extremely average American Eddie Lewis (age 33) and the journey man thug Andy Todd (age 31) then you have to question the standard of the Premiership.
Andy Todd is the bloke who, while playing for Cuntburn Rovers against us in the FA cup semi-final three seasons ago, deliberately smashed his elbow in Robin van Persie's face. This was just after RvP had just put us two up after coming on as a sub. Todd received no ban, just a warning by the FA. Helb last week received a three match ban for a girly flick of the hand on a Reading player called Cunty. Andy Todd = cunt.
So West Brom got promoted to the Premiership last night. They have recent Premiership experience, a decent stadium and play decent football compared to all the other cloggers in the Championship. I would rather see them in the Premiership than Bolton. Nevertheless, the teams fighting for the two other remaining promotion spots don't look promising. Let's look at the list:
Stoke City (a real dump of a town that has no tourist spots and is only famous for it's chavs and hooligans. Oh, they used to make pottery there. Your better off bombing Stoke and starting all over again) ;
Hull City (a rugby league town where everyone looks malnourished and depressed);
Bristol City (one of Britain's decent cities when compared to shit-holes like Middlesbrough. But have you ever spoken to a local there? Their accents sound as if they have just fucked a turnip. Bumpkins mate!);
The long-ball but work hard Watford (they have decent nightclub in Watford where I met a lot of teenage mums looking to get pregnant again. The level of conversation was about as low as Watford's league position when they were last in The Premiership. To talk to these thick birds I needed a lot of alcohol. To watch Watford I also need a ton of alcohol. Still, like Arsenal, I left Watford with 3 points in the bag);
The always moaning Neill Warnock's go in hard Crystal Palace (I always hated going to Selhurst Park. It's right down there on the edges of south London. It attracts cunts who love cricket, take council elections seriously and dress like Richard Branson. They could have been a cool club when Ian Wright was there but they blew it. Instead of going down the Wrighty road, they went down the Gareth Southgate road and failed. Fuck em!)
Then there's the possibility of lump it forward Wolves under Mick McCarthy!
Fuck me, the Premiership with any of these teams in it is going to be the best in the world once again. Pass me the crack pipe.
Tonight, Barca play Moan U at Old Twatford. Unfortunately, only ESPN2 will be showing the game. This means that the blind, talking potato Tommy Smyth, who is the biggest Irish cunt on the planet will commenting. So once again I will have to watch the game in silence. But if Barca win I will turn the sound back on just to hear Tommy's gutted voice. Cunt.
Later
Monday, April 28, 2008
The Sign of Four
Four players in the PFA Team of the Season is scant consolation for what looks likely to be another trophyless season. The fact that we have very good players who've been recognized as such by their peers is...nice! But I have no doubt they'd all do without the recognition if it meant raising the league title. That's what they play for. The rest is trimmings. I can't argue with the selections really - the four chosen players have had good to excellent seasons.
Having said that, is it unfair to have expected Cesc to score four more goals in the EPL? Is it unfair to feel Adebayor should've buried four more chances in the league to put him on 25 goals at the time of writing? The eight additional goals might not have made a difference but maybe they would have. There's no way to know for sure. With all the suggested "reasons" why we've failed to win anything, 15 additional points would have been more than enough to win the league.
We've drawn 11 and lost 3 to date. If 7 of the 8 additional goals were scored in 7 of the 11 draws, that would give us 14 more points. If the 8th goal were scored vs either, Boro, Chelsea, or Utd (our 3 defeats, all by one goal), that would give us a total of 15 more points. We'd now be on 89 and champions. I'm not placing the weight of the entire season of Cesc and Adebayor. I just feel that we weren't that far away. We didn't collapse as much as we weren't proficient when we needed to be.
The question of why Hleb or Eboue or any other combination of players didn't contribute more goals is for another day.
Having said that, is it unfair to have expected Cesc to score four more goals in the EPL? Is it unfair to feel Adebayor should've buried four more chances in the league to put him on 25 goals at the time of writing? The eight additional goals might not have made a difference but maybe they would have. There's no way to know for sure. With all the suggested "reasons" why we've failed to win anything, 15 additional points would have been more than enough to win the league.
We've drawn 11 and lost 3 to date. If 7 of the 8 additional goals were scored in 7 of the 11 draws, that would give us 14 more points. If the 8th goal were scored vs either, Boro, Chelsea, or Utd (our 3 defeats, all by one goal), that would give us a total of 15 more points. We'd now be on 89 and champions. I'm not placing the weight of the entire season of Cesc and Adebayor. I just feel that we weren't that far away. We didn't collapse as much as we weren't proficient when we needed to be.
The question of why Hleb or Eboue or any other combination of players didn't contribute more goals is for another day.
The Title race
Hate: To dislike intensely or passionately.
Moan United: ditto above.
You now understand my feelings towards that cesspit of a club. It's why I want Chelsea to win the Premiership this season. A lot of Gooners might be shaking their heads on that one but I don't give a fuck.
Obviously Arsenal was my first choice but that's not happening this season. So I would rather have Chelsea snatch it away from those cocky cunts from "Up Norf" Just being able to see Moan U fans gutted after having the title "wrapped up" will be a decent end to a wank season.
By the way, the behavior of the Moan United players and staff at Stamford Bridge was similar to that of a bunch of college kids from Yale trying to act like gang bangers from Compton.
Fuck off Rio trying to give it the large to a woman steward in the tunnel after the game.
Fuck off Hargreaves throwing the ball at the feet of the ref at the end of the game.
You're so hard Hargreaves you fucking Canadian nonce.
Hargreaves to me sums up how shit the England team has become. When a country, whose fans believe it's national team is the best in the world, has to rely on an ice-hockey player from Canada to be it's midfield hatchet man, you know you ain't going to win shit or play attractive football for a while. The only difference between Hargreaves and Philip Neville is that Hargreaves isn't as ugly and can score the odd free-kick. Oh and 15 million pounds that Moan U got mugged for. Cont.
The pushing and shoving match when Moan U players went back out on to the pitch after the game had finished was a huge disappointment. Why didn't one of the Chelsea stewards just fucking "lamp" Evra on the jaw. Do some permanent damage and end the cunts season right there and then? What did the steward have to lose? His 10 pound an hour job. Come on mate, you would have been a Chelsea legend by now!
Moving on. I'm off to watch Arsenal reserves play Derby at some Red Neck sports bar where fat, white, baseball cap wearing NASCAR loving slags rule the roost. I have no choice because I don't have SETANTA.
Later
Moan United: ditto above.
You now understand my feelings towards that cesspit of a club. It's why I want Chelsea to win the Premiership this season. A lot of Gooners might be shaking their heads on that one but I don't give a fuck.
Obviously Arsenal was my first choice but that's not happening this season. So I would rather have Chelsea snatch it away from those cocky cunts from "Up Norf" Just being able to see Moan U fans gutted after having the title "wrapped up" will be a decent end to a wank season.
By the way, the behavior of the Moan United players and staff at Stamford Bridge was similar to that of a bunch of college kids from Yale trying to act like gang bangers from Compton.
Fuck off Rio trying to give it the large to a woman steward in the tunnel after the game.
Fuck off Hargreaves throwing the ball at the feet of the ref at the end of the game.
You're so hard Hargreaves you fucking Canadian nonce.
Hargreaves to me sums up how shit the England team has become. When a country, whose fans believe it's national team is the best in the world, has to rely on an ice-hockey player from Canada to be it's midfield hatchet man, you know you ain't going to win shit or play attractive football for a while. The only difference between Hargreaves and Philip Neville is that Hargreaves isn't as ugly and can score the odd free-kick. Oh and 15 million pounds that Moan U got mugged for. Cont.
The pushing and shoving match when Moan U players went back out on to the pitch after the game had finished was a huge disappointment. Why didn't one of the Chelsea stewards just fucking "lamp" Evra on the jaw. Do some permanent damage and end the cunts season right there and then? What did the steward have to lose? His 10 pound an hour job. Come on mate, you would have been a Chelsea legend by now!
Moving on. I'm off to watch Arsenal reserves play Derby at some Red Neck sports bar where fat, white, baseball cap wearing NASCAR loving slags rule the roost. I have no choice because I don't have SETANTA.
Later
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