C'mon Barca

Last night we beat Derby County 6-2. I'm not going to report on the game. Other websites have so why add to the list.

I watched the game on my own at George's Red Neck Sports Bar in Charleston. Apart from two fat Red Necks playing pinball I had the bar to myself, which was sweet apart from the 80's rock music and shit food.

We should have scored more.

Any team that has Darren Moore and Alan Stubbs at the heart of it's defense doesn't deserve to be in the Premiership. Both are pit ponies that should be delivering coal from down the mine not playing Premiership football live on TV screens around the world.

If clubs like Derby field players such as Moore (age 34), Stubbs (age 36), Robbie Savage (age 34), the extremely average American Eddie Lewis (age 33) and the journey man thug Andy Todd (age 31) then you have to question the standard of the Premiership.

Andy Todd is the bloke who, while playing for Cuntburn Rovers against us in the FA cup semi-final three seasons ago, deliberately smashed his elbow in Robin van Persie's face. This was just after RvP had just put us two up after coming on as a sub. Todd received no ban, just a warning by the FA. Helb last week received a three match ban for a girly flick of the hand on a Reading player called Cunty. Andy Todd = cunt.

So West Brom got promoted to the Premiership last night. They have recent Premiership experience, a decent stadium and play decent football compared to all the other cloggers in the Championship. I would rather see them in the Premiership than Bolton. Nevertheless, the teams fighting for the two other remaining promotion spots don't look promising. Let's look at the list:

Stoke City (a real dump of a town that has no tourist spots and is only famous for it's chavs and hooligans. Oh, they used to make pottery there. Your better off bombing Stoke and starting all over again) ;

Hull City (a rugby league town where everyone looks malnourished and depressed);

Bristol City (one of Britain's decent cities when compared to shit-holes like Middlesbrough. But have you ever spoken to a local there? Their accents sound as if they have just fucked a turnip. Bumpkins mate!);

The long-ball but work hard Watford (they have decent nightclub in Watford where I met a lot of teenage mums looking to get pregnant again. The level of conversation was about as low as Watford's league position when they were last in The Premiership. To talk to these thick birds I needed a lot of alcohol. To watch Watford I also need a ton of alcohol. Still, like Arsenal, I left Watford with 3 points in the bag);

The always moaning Neill Warnock's go in hard Crystal Palace (I always hated going to Selhurst Park. It's right down there on the edges of south London. It attracts cunts who love cricket, take council elections seriously and dress like Richard Branson. They could have been a cool club when Ian Wright was there but they blew it. Instead of going down the Wrighty road, they went down the Gareth Southgate road and failed. Fuck em!)

Then there's the possibility of lump it forward Wolves under Mick McCarthy!

Fuck me, the Premiership with any of these teams in it is going to be the best in the world once again. Pass me the crack pipe.

Tonight, Barca play Moan U at Old Twatford. Unfortunately, only ESPN2 will be showing the game. This means that the blind, talking potato Tommy Smyth, who is the biggest Irish cunt on the planet will commenting. So once again I will have to watch the game in silence. But if Barca win I will turn the sound back on just to hear Tommy's gutted voice. Cunt.

Later